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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

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Smartphones
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 are part of modern life. Some
children
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use
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 their time on
smartphones
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 and spend hours on them. In
this
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 essay,
i
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I
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 will describe whether
this
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 is a positive or negative development. Nowadays, many parents give their
children
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 a phone for many reasons. The common reason is they want to know the locations of their
children
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. Not just for security, but many benefits of phones make life easier for
children
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. In the modern area, every activity uses a smartphone, even in school, pupils learn to search for information for their assignments.
However
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, they
use
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 a smartphone for school stuff. The creativity of
children
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 can be built from the internet.
For example
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, the students get a task from their teacher to make a short movie about how to save the forest, and the pupils will find the idea from the internet to make a movie. It is a good development because the
children
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 will be the future of a country's development and they should know about technology.
On the other hand
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,
smartphones
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 have drawbacks. Some
children
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 do not
use
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 their phones wisely. They spend hours on the negative side. Lack of parental supervision leads
children
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 to download games and social media apps. A
game
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 becomes an addiction for some young. They spend all their time playing a particular
game
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. For illustrate, the
game
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 teaches pupils how to kill and
use
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 violence, and they bring the behaviour to a school environment. In some cases happened, in Indonesia, a student hit his friend because a
game
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 inspired him. Another example because some social media do not have filters; the young can watch everything include sexuality content which is not appropriate for them. In my honest opinion, I agree that
smartphones
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 have benefits for our
children
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, but we need strict supervision of them and to make some rules.
For instance
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, how many hours they can
use
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 the phone and restrict their download settings. If
children
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 can
use
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 their phones wisely, they can get more positive impacts on their life.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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