IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

It is thought by some that is better to live in a city while others believe it is better to live in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#city #countryside
In today's fast-paced world, some
people
 think that it is better to live in the
countryside
while
 I believe that it is better to live in a
city
 than in the
countryside
. There are several
benefits
 to living both in the
countryside
 and the
city
. There are several
benefits
 to living in the
countryside
. One of them is the
countryside
 is more peaceful than the
city
. Oftentimes there
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 no traffic jams there.
For
example
, there
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 no train, and the number of cars is less than in the
city
.
Thus
, it is so peaceful. On top of
this
, not only peaceful but
also
 its air is really fresh.
In addition
, the
countryside
people
 are so kindhearted.
People
 there always think about their relatives or neighbours,
for
example
.
People
 share meals or other things on holidays. And they help their individuals all the time. So, some
people
 prefer to live in the
countryside
 and they believe than to live in a
city
.
Moreover
, there are lots of
benefits
 to living in a
city
.
For instance
, they have a modern lifestyle. There are lots of skyscraper buildings, concert halls, and zoos,
for
example
. I am of the opinion the
city
 is more modern than the
countryside
.
Thus
, I
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 prefer to live in a
city
.
Additionally
, the quality of education is so nice, there are many professional teachers,
for
example
. So, I think living in a
city
 is better than out of town. In conclusion, there several
benefits
 to
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
 in the
countryside
 and in a
city
. Some individuals think that it is better to live in the
countryside
.
However
, I prefer to live in a
city
.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay adequately addresses the topic by discussing both views and presenting a personal opinion. However, it lacks specific examples to support the main points and ideas.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the lack of specific examples weakens the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a basic lexical resource with some varied vocabulary, but there are instances of repetitive and imprecise language. More precise and varied vocabulary could enhance the essay's quality.
grammatical range
The essay shows a reasonable control of grammar and sentence structures. However, there are several errors in article use and sentence structure that affect the overall clarity and correctness of the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: