Some people believe that television is a powerful educational tool. Other people believe that television is nothing more than mindless entertainment and should be discouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #television #tool #entertainment

Nowadays, individuals are separated into two groups. The first group believes that

educational

Add an article

the educational

an educational

show examples

thing which can improve our knowledge.

However

, the second group argued that television

enhance

Change the verb form

enhances

show examples

degradation

Correct article usage

the degradation

show examples

of our brains and we become less intellectual. From my perspective, I agree with these two groups. So, in

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will

further

explore

this

thought-provoking question. On the one hand,

provides

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

overwhelming

Change preposition

with overwhelming

show examples

advantages.

To begin

with,

provides

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Change preposition

with a

show examples

huge amount of information.

In other words

, there are many

channels

on various topics.

For instance

, about nature, space, history and so on.

Hence

, we can gain useful information for ourselves.

Also

, on

a lot of news

channels

Thus

, we always can be aware of everything that happens in the world.

Moreover

, many lectures , interviews and podcasts can be steam on

too.

On the other hand

, we cannot underestimate the drawbacks of

Firstly

, it is a lot of useless information which can fill our brains.

Secondly

, many

channels

do not have censorship.

As a result

, these

channels

can give us harmful details which can affect our mental health.

In addition

, mass media so often shows fake or exaggerated info.

This

can cause stress in people.

For example

falsehood about war or

particular

Add an article

a particular

show examples

event.

Lastly

, one of the main reasons why many

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

claimed that

is bad for us, considering that when we watch

we do not read.

Nevertheless

Add a comma

,Nevertheless

show examples

it can lead to awful consequences.

For instance

, become illiterate. In order

to conclude

provides some disadvantages.

Conversely

, if

Add a verb

isit

wasit

show examples

possible to get over all drawbacks, there will be only the benefits that remain.

Submitted by slobodanatol83 on Thu May 04 2023

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20Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that television is a powerful educational tool. Other people believe that television is nothing more than mindless entertainment and should be discouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behoviour in addition to providing formal education. Do you agree or disagree?

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.