Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The population in the city is growing in size nowadays,
due to
Linking Words
the opportunity to have
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
future,
however
Linking Words
, I strongly believe
such
Linking Words
phenomena foster various downsides in big
cities
Use synonyms
which lead to health hazards.
To begin
Linking Words
with, there are lots of advantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
living in the
cities
Use synonyms
that attract people
move
Fix the infinitive
to move
show examples
from other areas, including more working opportunities and better educational resources, which increases the population
condensity
Correct your spelling
density
in big
cities
Use synonyms
. Not only
causing
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
in the air,
water
Correct word choice
and water
show examples
resources
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but provokes noise pollution. Living with poor quality of air and
conteminated
Correct your spelling
contaminated
contaminate
water resources could lead to various
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
,
affect
Correct word choice
and affect
show examples
negatively
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
raspiratory
Correct your spelling
respiratory
system and digestion
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the air quality in many main
cities
Use synonyms
in China is considered toxic,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
due to
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
large number of residents
as well as
Linking Words
people from around the world.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
noise pollution in big
cities
Use synonyms
is another threat to the health of those who
living
Change the form of the verb
live
show examples
in
such
Linking Words
regions, since it could affect their quality of sleep, and lead to mental
stresss
Correct your spelling
stress
stresses
. In
additional
Replace the word
addition
show examples
a long period of time living under
Correct article usage
a notise
show examples
notise
Correct your spelling
notice
noisy
noise
environment could hurt hearing ability and cause
cardivasbular
Correct your spelling
cardiovascular
disease. Take the USA as an example, a statistic
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
that children who live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New York
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
suffer from noises made by busy
trafic
Correct your spelling
traffic
and construction progresses which decrease their concentration and cause the loss of hearing at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age. To summarise, it is inevitable that more and more people will move into
cities
Use synonyms
for a bright future,
however
Linking Words
, those downsides should not be overlooked.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: