It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this trend?

Taking a
gap
year
before starting
university
is becoming noticeably common.
While
this
trend has some positive points, I personally believe that its drawbacks are more. There are some upsides to taking a
year
off before college. One of the primary benefits is that the young generations might have a chance to follow their interest in order to recognize their true talent. At school
due to
some fixed curriculum, the students do not have sufficient time to explore their inner gifts. A
year
may let them find their real passion and choose the right major to study at the
university
.
Moreover
, some youngsters tend to work in their
gap
year
. Having a job before college might help them to save some money and become more independent. They might be able to apply for a better
university
or leave their home town to study abroad.
However
, I think there are numerous downsides to
this
trend.
Firstly
, not starting
university
at that critical time after graduating from school throws young people off their track. They find more friends or start romantic relationships and try to behave like an adult.
As a consequence
, the majority of them lose their motivation and do not enrol on the
university
.
Secondly
, the
gap
might be extended to several years
instead
of just one
year
. They just stuck in doing some general jobs for years and it became hard for them to get back to the academic atmosphere. They cannot get any promotion in their career and will remain workers forever. In conclusion,
although
the
gap
year
has some pros, I assume that its disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by Negar_seddigh on

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task achievement
While you have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, try to balance your arguments more evenly. Ensure your supporting points are equally developed for both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to cohesion; use more transitional words or phrases to guide the reader through your ideas smoothly. For instance, consider using 'On the other hand' to introduce the disadvantages section.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Include real-life scenarios or statistics to give more weight to your points.
task achievement
Some of the arguments could be enhanced by expanding on how they directly impact the individual's future. For instance, how exactly does losing motivation affect one's career prospects? Dive deeper into these aspects.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the trend and presents a balanced view of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reaffirms your stance.
task achievement
You have provided reasonable arguments for both sides which show you understand the topic well.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal growth
  • cultural exchange
  • employability
  • academic pressures
  • burnout
  • resume building
  • global awareness
  • academic skills deterioration
  • financial implications
  • structured educational environment
  • peer separation
  • readjusting
  • rigor
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