IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today, many people rely on the internet to diognose and cure their own health poblems instead of seeing a doctor. Why is this happening? Is it possitive or negative development?

#people #internet #diognose #cure #health #poblems #doctor #possitive #development
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In modern times, some folks depend on the online networking platform to analyze their fitness complications and recover them by themselves rather than determine an expert.
This
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 is because free source
information
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 is available on the
internet
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 and
this
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 is a negative development because it may cause chronic health problems in long-term situations. There are many reasons why
people
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 choose the
Internet
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 to recognize their diseases on their own
instead
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 of consult to a specialist the
Internet
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 contains a wide range of
information
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 related to medicine and various diseases and
also
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 it is free of cost, so
people
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 search for their fitness obstacles on the
internet
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 and identify by their own and try to
cure
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 by purchasing medicine from the shop.
For example
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, nowadays, many
people
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 diagnose their
disease
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 from YouTube videos and many other sources
such
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 as various websites NCBI, NIC and many more where they search for their
disease
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 and read
disease
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-related context to recognize their
disease
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 and
cure
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 without doctor's consultation. Relying on the
internet
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 to
cure
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 health issues by own
instead
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 of taking the help of a doctor is a negative development because much
information
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 which is available on the
internet
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 is not authorized and accurate.
Due to
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this
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,
people
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 may be getting the wrong
information
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 about their disorder and they may choose
an invalid
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an invalid cure procedure
invalid cure procedures
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cure
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 procedures and they might get severe health diseases, which may lead to death.
For instance
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,
according to
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 WHO, around 20% of
people
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 who suffer from chronic cancer
disease
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 are those
people
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 who try to identify their
disease
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 on the
internet
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 and they die because of the wrong
information
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 they read. In conclusion, some
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 depend on the
internet
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 to recognize and recover
Change preposition
from
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their fitness issues
by
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on
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 their own rather than taking help from an expert because the
internet
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 provides cheap sources and the major negative development is
people
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 get deadly
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disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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due to
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 late diagnosis.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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