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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph gives information about cinema attendance in Australia between 1990 and the present, with projections to 2010.

The graph gives information about cinema attendance in Australia between 1990 and the present, with projections to 2010.
#information #cinema #attendance #australia #projections
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The Line chart illustrates the statics of different ages of
people
Use synonyms
 who attend the theatre in different
years
Use synonyms
 between 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the chart depicts that there is an increment in the percentage of four types of
age
Use synonyms
 groups who visit cinemas throughout the given
years
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear that
people
Use synonyms
 more than the
age
Use synonyms
 of 50 are least interested to go to cinemas which start from 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1990 and with a consistently slight rise it goes to 60 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
whereas
Linking Words
, the most influenced
age
Use synonyms
 group who watch movies more often are youth which remains consistent, almost 90 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 went in 1990 and remains well below 100 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in that decade.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, the number of adults remains in the middle, 60 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 attended the theatre in 1990
whereas
Linking Words
 ,with the steady rise, the
age
Use synonyms
 group 25-34 reached 70 per
cent
Use synonyms
 only,
however
Linking Words
, 35-49
years
Use synonyms
 olds reached well over 80 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
Although
Linking Words
 there is a gradual increase in the percentage of all
age
Use synonyms
 group who attended cinemas in the period of 10
years
Use synonyms
, youngster shows the higher and the old aged shows the least interest.
Submitted by deepamankaur208 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, years, age, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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