Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Most parents are now allowing their sons to use

Phones

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Add a missing verb

are a

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lot. In

this

Linking Words

essay

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,essay

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I will discuss the good and bad

effects

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of the statement. In my

mind

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,mind

show examples

there are more negative

effects

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this

Linking Words

situation. Nowadays all people have to work with their

phones

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because of some requirements of

employer

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employers

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. So young people are using them.

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However

Howerer

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However

, if they use mainly them in their study, They have a big chance to improve their most skill and knowledge.

Thus

Linking Words

, that

teenager

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teenagers

show examples

draw

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draws

show examples

such

Linking Words

technologies can have a lot of benefits.

Linking Words

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

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we have to work with our

phones

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owing to the improvements

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show examples

the modern world. Despite a number of

postive

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positive

effects

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, their negative

effects

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may be more in my opinion. One of them is that the screens of technologies can be very dangerous to our eyes. They can lead to a blind , so they limit using them. But not only that of harms , apart from the screens there

are

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a lot of information which We cannot pay attention on a significant task because of .

This

Linking Words

situation can be seen in the life of everybody, and In some

cases

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,cases

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this

Linking Words

may lead to harmful

effects

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Therefore

Linking Words

, some people are reluctant to draw on them. In conclusion , the bad effect of

phones

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are more than good ones, so we should be

carefully

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careful

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to allow children to use them.

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Sun May 07 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

235 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important what are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

It is said that advertisement is not always necessary because consumers anyway buy the product if a product has very good quality.To what extent,do you agree with this statement?