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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
Most parents are now allowing their sons to use
Phones
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
lot. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss the good and bad
effects
 of the statement. In my
mind
Add a comma
,mind
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 there are more negative
effects
 of
this
 situation. Nowadays all people have to work with their
phones
 because of some requirements of
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
. So young people are using them.
Correct your spelling
However
Howerer
Correct your spelling
However
, if they use mainly them in their study, They have a big chance to improve their most skill and knowledge.
Thus
, that
teenager
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teenagers
show examples
draw
Change the verb form
draws
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 on
such
 technologies can have a lot of benefits.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 we have to work with our
phones
 owing to the improvements
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the modern world. Despite a number of
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
effects
 , their negative
effects
 may be more in my opinion. One of them is that the screens of technologies can be very dangerous to our eyes. They can lead to a blind , so they limit using them. But not only that of harms , apart from the screens there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a lot of information which We cannot pay attention on a significant task because of .
This
 situation can be seen in the life of everybody, and In some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
this
 may lead to harmful
effects
.
Therefore
, some people are reluctant to draw on them. In conclusion , the bad effect of
phones
 are more than good ones, so we should be
carefully
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careful
show examples
 to allow children to use them.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
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