In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes here. What is your opinion about this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In recent years, many

people

Use synonyms

realize that with the

development

Use synonyms

of cities in our country, more and more cities are

built

Add a missing verb

being built

show examples

, but our

countryside

Use synonyms

is vanishing. In my view,

while

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fast

development

Use synonyms

is important, the preservation of

Use synonyms

countryside

Correct article usage

the countryside

show examples

is more precious and crucial. As we all

known

Replace the word

know

show examples

city

Use synonyms

expansion has lots of benefits for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

economy

Replace the word

economic

show examples

growth, especially in developing

country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

like China. Because more cities can bring more jobs and consumption, which can keep the market

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

active. And we did have made really great results.

For instance

Linking Words

, in the

last

Linking Words

thirty years,

Pudong

Correct article usage

the Pudong

show examples

Area of Shanghai has changed into the most modern icon globally from a normal

countryside

Use synonyms

, which we can be proud of,

also

Linking Words

Shanghai has been one of the biggest

Use synonyms

city

Fix the agreement mistake

cities

show examples

around

Change preposition

show examples

the world.

Although

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

development

Use synonyms

is crucial, I think the benefits of

city

Use synonyms

expansion can not outweigh the bad influences.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it can decrease

people

Use synonyms

's happiness

Change preposition

show examples

life.

For example

Linking Words

, in

Shanghai

Add a comma

,Shanghai

show examples

if we want to get

touch

Change preposition

in touch

show examples

with any

countryside

Use synonyms

or natural scenery, we have to drive for 2 hours or above, which means our children can not grow up with natural

explore

Replace the word

exploration

show examples

and

that is

Linking Words

unhealthy for growth.

Secondly

Linking Words

, for

people

Use synonyms

who always live in the

countryside

Use synonyms

, they may dislike

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

city

Use synonyms

life, so all these big changes and new constructions may take their normal life or beautiful hometown away.

Finally

Linking Words

, the constant construction can bring air pollution and

noises

Fix the agreement mistake

noise

show examples

, which not only is bad for the environment, but

also

Linking Words

cause really serious

consequence

Fix the agreement mistake

consequences

show examples

for

people

Use synonyms

's health, like

lungs'

Change noun form

lungs

show examples

disease. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fast

development

Use synonyms

plays an important role in our country,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

for a better environment and

higher

Correct article usage

a higher

show examples

index of happiness, I hope we can balance the pros and cons.

jamiejin0Sun May 07 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Urbanization
Ecological benefits
Biodiversity conservation
Carbon sequestration
Sustainable development
Eco-friendly building materials
Green architecture
Government policies
Urban sprawl
Infrastructure
Smart planning
Agricultural lands
Rural areas
Population growth
Environmental sensitivity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Taking a year off from education between finishing school or college and going to university is a popular choice for young people. Generally speaking, doing so does not negatively affect their educational progress and, depending on how the time out is spent, can lead to invaluable experiences before moving into higher education.
6.5
band
For schoolchildren, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In "Gestalt" theories, a psychologist's school of thinking, there are many influencing factors of social development.
8.5
band
You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter: -explain why would like the job -give details why you would be a suitable person to employ -say how you spend your free time while you are in Australia
Dear Mr. & Mrs. Smith
6
band
To meet the growing needs of food for the increasing population, country should make use of genetically engineered foods. However, some people believe that GM foods are not only unhealthy but affect nature too. Do you agree or disagree about this?
In society’s environment, many modern technologies more increased. It is argued that the population is more crowded and to meet the growing needs of food, many countries should use genetically engineered foods. Some people show that genetically engineered foods are both unhealthy and affect nature. It is a difficult question to answer because it always has both positive and negative sides. But I completely disagree with some people who show that genetically engineered foods are both unhealthy and affect nature. In this essay, I will analyze is that the effect of genetically engineered foods on standing for life.
6
band
art and music are considred some of the fundamental elements of all societies, and some suggest that hildren should learn them at school. Do you think art and music still have a place in today;s modern wordl of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school ?
Nowadays, as technology becomes advanced, people are more concerned about STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) than art and music in school, especially for children. However, there are big questions about whether art and music are still important in this era of technology. Moreover, there are some people who think children still need to learn art and music.

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes here. What is your opinion about this?

Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

For schoolchildren, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To meet the growing needs of food for the increasing population, country should make use of genetically engineered foods. However, some people believe that GM foods are not only unhealthy but affect nature too. Do you agree or disagree about this?

art and music are considred some of the fundamental elements of all societies, and some suggest that hildren should learn them at school. Do you think art and music still have a place in today;s modern wordl of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school ?