IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution
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In today's world, it is believed that there are a lot of
people
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 who think that the government should increase the level of air
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 and solve problems with housing because it is
good
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a good
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 way to
preven
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prevent
 illnesses. In my opinion, as there are a variety of
diseases
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 that are
resalted
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resulted
show examples
 from
bed
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bad
show examples
 environment and poor leaving infrastructure, it is a good idea.  One reason to support my opinion is that air and water have a significant impact on
people
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's health because all
off
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of
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people
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 need it to stay alive.
Moreover
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, humanity should try to save
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 in good conditions if
people
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 want to care about future generations.
For instance
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,
according to
Linking Words
 new research, which was
writed
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written
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 in the USA, genetic
diseases
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 are more common in
the
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apply
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areas with high
level
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levels
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 of plants and roads.  Another reason to support my point of view is that there are some areas on the planet where
people
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 does not have enough money to build
home
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a home
show examples
 with comfortable facilities. It is known that some
of
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
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does
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do
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 not have access to traditional
beathrooms
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bathrooms
 and even pure water.
Thus
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, because they may not wash their food, it resulted in different illnesses. For
examle
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example
, in South Africa, where numerous
people
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 have poor facilities in
ther
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their
 houses, a lot of kids die before their first birthday
due to
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infectiones
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infectious
infections
diseases
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. 
To sum up
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, I believe that the government should focus on
environment
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environmental
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polutions
Correct your spelling
pollution
pollutions
 and housing problems because it will help prevent a lot of genetic illnesses in the future and
also
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 will safe
lifes
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lives
 some
of
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
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 from contagious
diseases
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by engroutine on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
What to do next:
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