An increasing number of people change their career and place of residence several times during their life time. Is this positive or negative development?
These days, more and more
people
tend to change their jobs and living places many times during their lifetimes. Personally, I think the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages for society in some cases, as it provides people
with opportunities for personal and professional development.
On the one hand, people
who alter their work
may struggle to maintain long-term connections. They lack regular interaction with their ex-colleagues if they change their workplaces frequently. However
, this
can be addressed by using technology to connect with each other. Relocation can have difficulty in facing severe culture shock, which could lead to anxiety and stress. Though
Correct word choice
This
this
issue can be resolved easily if people
pay attention and respect the culture in a new area.
On the other hand
, those who decide to make a career change can expand their professional networks and learn to adapt to a new work
environment. For a long time, they can accumulate these experiences and pick up them in a new position. Therefore
, they can have more advantages than other candidates in the job market. By changing their places of residence, individuals can approach different cultures and ways of life, thereby they can extend their cultural awareness. People
find it easier to make a new relationship when they know about the traits of others and this
contributes to a more accepting society. For example
, Korea was a nation which was isolated in the past, but nowadays it become a wealthy country which attracts many people
who want to work
and live there.
In conclusion, a growing number of people
vary their places of work
and living. But these are far shadowed by the benefits offered by such
decisions.Submitted by huuhung1962001 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but can be more clearly outlined. Ensure all paragraphs are logically structured. Use more relevant examples to support your points.
task achievement
While the response is generally comprehensive, make sure to address all aspects of the question in more depth. Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite