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Band 6.5

Some people think that promoting a healthy life style is better than treating who are already ill. to what extent do you agree to this thought?

#people #life #style #thought
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In modern society, health is a heavily debated topic as most
people
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 are willing to live longer. In fact, there are some
people
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 who argue that treating
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 are already ill is a plausible idea thanks to the development of modern medical technology.
However
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, I firmly believe that
people
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 should promote a healthy
lifestyle
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 to prevent themselves from having serious diseases.
To begin
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 with, promoting a healthy
lifestyle
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 is better than treating
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 are already ill because it can improve
people
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's quality of
life
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. 
People
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 can continue having a healthy
lifestyle
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 by having a balanced diet and
exercise
Wrong verb form
exercising
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 on a regular basis. By doing so, they can avoid common diseases
such
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 as
cold
Fix the agreement mistake
colds
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 and live in a time-efficient way
while
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 having a regular
life
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 routine as well.
As a result
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,
this
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 demonstrates that encouraging
people
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 to promote a healthy
lifestyle
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 is crucial since it can not only prevent diseases in advance but
also
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 make
people
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's lives healthy in general.
Moreover
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, promoting a well-balanced
life
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 before getting ill is
also
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 beneficial in the financial aspect. It is possible to treat
people
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 who are already at one's late stage as the development of medical technology has dramatically improved.
However
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, it definitely leads to a severe financial burden
to
Change preposition
for
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 some
people
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.
For example
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, in some countries that lack basic medical insurance systems, if
people
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 have a chronic disease, they might go into debt to afford the treatment fees.
Therefore
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, despite the medical improvement,
people
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 should consciously continue a balanced daily routine to avoid having financial burdens. In conclusion, it is a contentious topic regarding how
people
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 treat their health. I personally believe that it can be much more beneficial to promote a healthy
lifestyle
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 than treating
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 are already ill because it could improve
people
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's quality of
life
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 and be an economical choice.
Submitted by ce058670 on

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