IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that sharing scientific
research
Use synonyms
 and
business
Use synonyms
information
Use synonyms
 as much as possible is good,
while
Linking Words
 others think some
information
Use synonyms
 could not be shared easily because it is too important or valuable.
While
Linking Words
 the latter concerned potential
plagiarism
Use synonyms
 and
unrighful
Correct your spelling
rightful
claims
Use synonyms
 of ownership, I believe it is good to share
information
Use synonyms
 freely, as
this
Linking Words
 allows academia and businesses to improve drastically which creates more competitive markets. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that some
business
Use synonyms
 and scientific
research
Use synonyms
information
Use synonyms
 should be gatekeep in order to prevent
plagiarism
Use synonyms
 and unlawful
claims
Use synonyms
. With the
information
Use synonyms
 shared freely, it is easier for
people
Use synonyms
 and businesses to copy the works of others into their own works, making them guilty of
plagiarism
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can result in many unrightful
claims
Use synonyms
 of scientific discovery and product engineering.
For example
Linking Words
, the establishment of intellectual property rights and courts in law is seen as the ultimate effort to prevent
plagiarism
Use synonyms
 and to settle contesting
claims
Use synonyms
 over intellectual property.
However
Linking Words
, with the establishment of the mechanism, I believe
people
Use synonyms
 do not have to worry about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plagiarism
Use synonyms
 and unlawful
claims
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many think that
information
Use synonyms
 should be shared freely because
this
Linking Words
 allows better businesses and scientific
research
Use synonyms
 outputs and creates more healthy markets. As the
information
Use synonyms
 becomes easily accessed, many companies could implement valuable, relevant strategies to enhance their products, same with academics with their scientific
research
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, there will be better competition, both in
Use synonyms
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
 sector and in academia that could benefit many
people
Use synonyms
 to access better products and
research
Use synonyms
 more easily.
For example
Linking Words
, many scientists,
such
Linking Words
 as Oppenheimer, could not have discovered his scientific breakthrough without the prior works of his predecessors,
such
Linking Words
 as Einstein and Bohr.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 many believe that
business
Use synonyms
 and academic
information
Use synonyms
 could not be shared freely
due to
Linking Words
 potential threats of
plagiarism
Use synonyms
 and
unrightul
Correct your spelling
rightful
claims
Use synonyms
, I believe the
information
Use synonyms
 should be easily accessed as
this
Linking Words
 results in better improvement of many products and scientific knowledge that could benefit many
people
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea that is consistently developed. For example, when discussing plagiarism, more details on how it specifically impacts academia and business could be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas to enhance the clarity of your argument. Try to vary sentence structures and avoid repeating similar phrases.
task achievement
While your essay broadly discusses both views, consider addressing more specific examples or theoretical perspectives that illustrate your points. Enhancing the depth of analysis will strengthen your task achievement.
task achievement
The essay provides a solid introduction that clearly presents both views and also includes a personal opinion, which helps in setting the stage for the discussion.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow to the arguments; you present both sides of the debate clearly, and your conclusion effectively reiterates and supports your opinion.
task achievement
You have utilized relevant examples, such as the case of intellectual property rights and the contributions of scientists like Oppenheimer and Einstein, to substantiate your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: