Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion
The advancement of technology has unquestionably had a significant impact on the modern world. Others believe it brings the wealthy and the impoverished closer together, thereby eliminating destitution and the archaic class system. I will discuss both perspectives
as well as
argue that tech has brought the poor and the affluent closer together than ever before.
First,
only the wealthy can afford and utilize particular types of technology. Some things such
as expensive automobiles, automated residences, and Mars exploration are only accessible to the rich For example
, Elon Musk, a prominent industrialist, plans to construct a hotel on Mars, an extraterrestrial planet. Consequently
, this
will broaden the divide between the wealthy and the impoverished.
Secondly
, certain devices are now accessible and affordable for all socioeconomic groups. In the past, owning a mobile device was prohibitively expensive, but nowadays, mobile devices with fundamental features are common and inexpensive. Therefore
, the wealthy and the impoverished can share a common online space. Thus
bringing them closer to the digital universe as a whole.
In conclusion, I believe that a variety of technologies have brought people closer together than ever before, enhancing cross-border relationships and trade between all classes of people. For instance
, a starving person can post an online plea for assistance, and a wealthy philanthropist in New York can decide to send aid. Thus
, bridging the divide between the wealthy and the impoverished across international boundaries. Despite the fact that automation has brought the affluent and less privileged closer together through the use of mobile phones, some people believe that the gap is widening with modern, costly tech experiences that are primarily designated for the wealthy.Submitted by philipbay20 on
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task achievement
While you have provided a complete response to the task, there needs to be a better balance between the arguments for both views. Try to develop each point with more depth and specific examples.
task achievement
Your essay is quite clear and the ideas are comprehensive. However, some points can be expanded further for better clarity and impact. Specifically, the arguments supporting the view that technology narrows the gap could be more detailed.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider using transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your argument more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is generally clear, but some points need further development to fully support your arguments. Try to elaborate on each point with more specific examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, both of which are clear and summarize your main points effectively.
task achievement
You've used relevant examples to support your main points, which strengthens your arguments.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and shows your ability to discuss both viewpoints.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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