IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the present day, societies are rating individuals by their social class and materialistic things. unlike the so-called old days when people looked at a person's
values
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such
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 as trust and honesty. It is agreed that
such
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 things have lost their importance nowadays. In
this
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 essay, we will discuss the impact of social
media
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 in changing our
values
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.
To begin
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 with, it is well known that the
media
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 industry rules our society. that's why in
this
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 century someone's worth is judged by the criteria made by
this
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 industry.
For instance
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, The mainstream
media
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 and TV shows, Show us that the only happy ending is being rich or famous rather than being trustworthy or kind. which reflects in our community that having honour and trust is worthless, And only your title and your possessions can show your value to the world.
Furthermore
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, TV shows in the 90s did not have the same impact on the community. Because those series emphasised traditional
values
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 as being more important than a person's net worth.
For example
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, 90s movies picture heroes as being trustworthy and kind with (old-fashioned
values
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). Unfortunately, The criteria of
values
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 have changed to what the mainstream
media
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 is advertising.
To sum up
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, Old-fashioned
values
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 are very important in my personal view. being honest and kind is far more important than material things. You can have all the money in the world and still be judged if you are rude. Sadly, the
media
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 rules our perspective of what a person is worth.

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writing
Ensure all sentences start with a capital letter to maintain proper grammar.
writing
Expand on examples to provide more context. This will make your arguments more compelling and your essay more robust.
coherence
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs with clear linking sentences to improve coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the past and present values in a detailed manner.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, summarizing the essay’s main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant examples that support the main arguments.
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