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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows a neighborhood before and after a mall was constructed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows a neighborhood before and after a mall was constructed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given map illustrates the changes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a
neighbourhood
Use synonyms
 before and after a mall was built.
Overall
Linking Words
, a comparison of the maps reveals that a
neighbourhood
Use synonyms
 has totally transformed with regard to the construction of buildings and facilities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, all the changes can only be found in the centre and the west of the
neighbourhood
Use synonyms
, with the east remaining relatively unchanged. In terms of the
neighbourhood
Use synonyms
 prior to the development, there were woods
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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situated to the northwest. There were a
book
Correct your spelling
bookstore
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store
Use synonyms
 and shoe
store
Use synonyms
 located in front of the forest, which were situated on Main
Street
Use synonyms
. There was
also
Linking Words
 a lake to the southwest, which was surrounded by a park. Across Main
Street
Use synonyms
 from the
book
Correct your spelling
bookstore
show examples
store
Use synonyms
 and shoe
store
Use synonyms
, there were
houses
Use synonyms
 and behind those
houses
Use synonyms
 were more
houses
Use synonyms
 along Oak
Street
Use synonyms
, which were situated to the east. Regarding the changes in the
neighbourhood
Use synonyms
, the woods, book
store
Use synonyms
 and shoe
store
Use synonyms
 were replaced by a mall.
As a result
Linking Words
, a parking lot was added
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
removing a lake and park. Across Main
Street
Use synonyms
 from the mall, there was another parking lot where
houses
Use synonyms
 had been.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the remaining
houses
Use synonyms
 and more
houses
Use synonyms
 along Oak
Street
Use synonyms
 did not change.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words neighbourhood, store, street, houses with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traffic flow
  • Land use
  • Residential buildings
  • Commercial activities
  • Local businesses
  • Retail stores
  • Local economy
  • Employment
  • Community facilities
  • Displaced
  • Construction
  • Green spaces
  • Pollution
  • Noise
  • Environmental impact
  • Neighborhood dynamics
  • Transformation
  • Redevelopment
  • Infrastructure
  • Urbanization
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