Many children these days face difficulties to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the causes of this situation? What could be the possible solutions?

#children #face #difficulties #attention #school #situation

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With the average attention span in

children

declining, it gets difficult for them to focus on classes at school. And with the flawed curriculum and short-form content dominating social media, the problem only worsens over time.

This

essay will cover the causes and suggest possible solutions to the problem. Nowadays,

children

have the lowest average attention span in history. One cause of

this

is social media, promoting short and attention-grabbing videos, resulting in much social media addiction.

Moreover

, a strict schedule

also

impacts the student's concentration. Based on research, students studying for long periods perform worse than those with fewer classes. They often lose focus by the third hour of their study, meaning classes after that are utterly useless.

In addition

, because of bad academic performances, parents often sign up for extra tuition and confiscate phones from their

children

as a form of punishment.

As a result

, it backfires as they crave time on their phones, reverting to scrolling for countless hours. One solution for

this

is encouraging them to explore new interests and take time off from their studies. Studies have shown that hobbies help with building focus and extending their knowledge.

Furthermore

, in the best country academically, Finland, students have independence over their courses and schedules, emphasizing experience over knowledge. A lighter schedule

also

results in better health and well-being of the students. In conclusion, parents should encourage taking breaks from studying for

children

following

Correct word choice

and following

show examples

their passion and hobbies.

And

Correct word choice

This

show examples

this

will help rebuild their attention span, which results in a healthy and competent person ready for the future.

Submitted by nashaponpotapohn on Tue May 09 2023

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task achievement

Expand on the introduction to provide a clearer overview of what the essay will cover. Adding a sentence that previews the main points can enhance clarity.

task achievement

Consider adding more specific statistical data or studies to support the argument regarding social media's impact and Finland's educational system.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your points are logically developed and well-supported. This will strengthen the essay's overall coherence.

coherence and cohesion

In your conclusion, briefly summarize the main points discussed in the essay before offering your final thoughts. This reinforces the key arguments for the reader.

coherence and cohesion

The essay starts with a clear introduction that presents the issue and indicates the discussion in the following paragraphs, maintaining good coherence.

task achievement

The use of relevant examples to illustrate the causes of children's reduced attention span, such as the impact of social media and Finland's education system, enhances the reader's understanding.

coherence and cohesion

The essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout, with distinct paragraphs for causes and solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

technological distractions
overloaded curriculum
nutritional deficiencies
sleep deprivation
learning disorders
stress and anxiety
implementation
reform
promote
policy
adequate
specialized support
resources
mindfulness
meditation
time management
screen time
cognitive function
attention span
memory retention
consistent sleep schedule
extracurricular activities
academic expectations

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Many children these days face difficulties to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the causes of this situation? What could be the possible solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?