Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this ia unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.
Many people believe that
children
have their golden age period. This
happens during their early stage of life. The way they spend time
during this
era will influence their personal growth in the future. Therefore
, whom they spent time
with and how they spent time
become the most significant questions to be answered.
On the one hand, spending time
with their family is a great practice for children
. Doing activities such
as travelling or playing together with
parents could strengthen family bonding. Recent research stated that children
who spend most of their time
with family, most likely become open and honest individuals. This
is because they've felt appreciated and loved since their childhood.
On the other hand
, spending too little time
with people outside their relatives will also
have a negative effect. Children
might feel awkward when they need to socialize with their peers due to
a lack of social interaction in daily life. Additionally
, this
can also
influence the children
's ability to have confidence in public speaking.
In conclusion, the more children
spend time
doing positive activities with meaningful people, the more they will have good memories, which can help them thrive in the future. This
will enrich their experiences and broaden their perspectives. I personally support parents to become more flexible with their children
's schedules. For example
: Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday are for playing with friends; Thursday and Friday are for learning time
, and the rest of the week would be spent with the family.Submitted by brendaandrina on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction could be slightly clearer in stating the controversy and setting up both sides of the argument. Consider directly mentioning the two perspectives being discussed.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to reinforce the points made, especially in the second body paragraph. This will help to better illustrate the arguments being discussed.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to keep the essay engaging. While the current language is clear, a bit more complexity could enhance the overall quality.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion summarizing the discussion while giving a personal perspective.
task achievement
Main points are supported with relevant arguments, making the essay comprehensive and logical.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively provides a balanced view and offers a concrete example of how parents can manage their children's schedules.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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