Many people around the world spend the majority of their free time at home watching TV shows. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

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It is known that most

folks

spend their leisure

time

watching

shows,

due to

the modern age we live in, technology has evolved over

time

giving us a number of new facilities to use, like watching

shows at home, the opportunity

that is

ancestors did not have. In

this

essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of spending too much of your leisure

time

shows.

Firstly

, numerous people prefer to stay at home to watch

television

than go out, as they consider

this

activity to be relaxing and comfortable for them,

also

folks

affirm watching

television

can

also

be a way to learn new things.

For example

, most of the people who spend their

time

television

confess they learned a number of new facts from documentaries or from cooking shows which helped them to develop new skills.

Secondly

, spending too much

time

shows can lead to diseases or depression,

folks

who spend too much of their

time

at home forget to socialize with other people,

therefore

they lock themselves in their houses forgetting about the real world.

For example

folks

tend to become

obsess

Change the form of the verb

obsessed

show examples

with their

shows

as a result

they care less about other healthy, productive activities. All of

this

leads to a solidarity life, as the individual can have mental health issues. In conclusion, spending your leisure

time

television

depends on each person and on what they choose to watch as some

shows can be beneficial for the community,

while

others are destructive and cause dependence which can destroy the mental health of a human being.

Submitted by annaungureanu794 on Mon Jul 29 2024

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task achievement

Consider starting your essays with a more concise and clear thesis statement that summarizes the main points you will discuss. This can help guide the reader and ensure that your essay stays focused.

task achievement

Try to develop your points more fully and provide more detail in your examples. This will help to strengthen your arguments and provide more concrete evidence for your claims.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow between your ideas. Use transitional phrases and linking words more effectively to guide the reader through your key points.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and provides background information, which helps to engage the reader.

complete response

You present both advantages and disadvantages clearly, showing a balanced view of the topic.

clear comprehensive ideas

You made relevant points about how TV shows can be educational as well as detrimental to social interaction and health, which are pertinent to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Many people around the world spend the majority of their free time at home watching TV shows. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Fully explain your ideas

It is better to learn the way people lived in the past through films and video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is important for all children to learn history in school. Others believe that other subjects are more relevant to children’s life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?