IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What are the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective in reducing crime levels?

#crime #countries #world #people #trend #levels
It is often believed that the crime rate is increasing globally and a large number of youngsters are seen to be involved in the act of robbery and mobile snatching.
This
 could be
due to
 access to
guns
 at a young age and lack of employment opportunities.
Whereas
, it could be reversed with appropriate measures.
To begin
 with the causes, the first major reason which is leading to the rise in robberies could be
due to
 the presence of
guns
 around teenagers in the house
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when they have not understood the purpose of having
guns
.
As a result
, they end up using it in wrong activities like stealing without realising what are the consequences of having a criminal record in their future.
For instance
, if someone has any foul police record it is very unlikely that any institute or organisation would be willing to accept them or offer them a job. Another main cause could be, the poverty rate, which is seen to be rising with every passing year.
Moreover
, when educated people are unemployed and living their lives in poverty, it increases the frustration level in them and they end up using wrongful means.
However
, if the government and administrative bodies work in harmony they can find possible answers on how to decrease these acts of stealing. The first solution could be, to impose a ban on keeping
guns
 at home, because when children will not see the weapons around, there are fewer chances that they will come across any
such
 negative ideas.
Secondly
, and most importantly, there should be a drastic influx of job opportunities, in a way that there is a job for every young graduate in the market
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that they can use their thoughts and energies productively and contribute towards the country's wellbeing. In conclusion, it is of significant importance to reduce crimes and take immediate measures, as youth is the future of a nation, if they are doomed to
such
 illegal things it could be very hard for that country to prosper.
Submitted by z.ghadia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: