8.) The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree with this idea?

#safety #roads #punishments #offenses #idea

Currently, individuals lack driving responsibility despite many governments trying to solve the issues,

therefore

, someone criticizes that punishments should be stricter. I partially agree with

this

statement. At ,first glance, if the existence of stricter punishment does appear, more responsibility,

as well as

attention,

as well as

attention will be shown to the driving law.

Whereas

, Some of the individuals lack responsibility which is the primary requirement,

therefore

, they repeat the error several times.

For instance

, numerous cases of accidents in Thailand revealed that a number of drivers aren't aware of the punishment because they end up paying the fee.

Moreover

, bribing the officers have been the solution for the alleged offender to avoid staying in jail.

On the other hand

, I believe that there are alternative ways to improve the safety of our roads.

Firstly

, the priority thing that the driver must realize is the safety of people on the road and the law,

thus

, every transportation office should have stricter training for people who attend a driving license exam.

Secondly

, the government should destroy the bribing system so the victim can receive the justice they should receive.

Finally

, nowadays the telephone is another society factor four,

thus

, the driver mustn't use the telephone

while

driving so

this

can be another solution to

this

issue. In conclusion, I partially agree with

this

statement but stricter punishments aren't the solution to

this

problem. Alternative ways to improve the safety of our roads exist,

therefore

, the government must step by step to solve

this

problem.

Submitted by amittawin on Tue May 09 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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