More children are becoming overweight. Therefore, daily physical education classes should be compulsory in primary and secondary schools. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays, physical activities are not considered an important part of children's
routine
. Some argue that mostly teachers pay more attention to academics than extracurricular activities which is one of the leading causes of overweight in youngsters. In my opinion, physical education should be compulsory in primary and secondary schools. Fix the agreement mistake
routines
This
essay expounds on the importance of physical activity in reducing obesity in Linking Words
students
and Use synonyms
also
provides some examples related to the statement.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
, daily sports Linking Words
classes
should be mandatory for kids in schools Use synonyms
due to
a number of reasons. One of the main reasons is a drastic increase in obesity in the young generation. Linking Words
For instance
, making exercise a daily routine can improve the stamina of the young generation and make them more physically active in their life. Many research studies have proved that daily exercise helps in improving physical health by burning body fat.
On the one hand, many researchers and scientists are now shifting focus towards the importance of physical excursion in daily life for improving the quality of life. There is no doubt that physical sports not only help in achieving the ideal body weight but Linking Words
also
reduce the risk of autoimmune diseases like diabetes, Linking Words
blood
pressure, arthritis and asthma.
Correct word choice
high blood
On the other hand
, few academic researchers argue that schools should give more importance to Linking Words
the
academics than sports Correct article usage
apply
due to
ever-increasing competition in the fields of science and technology. Linking Words
Moreover
, most of the Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
also
show less interest in the extracurricular activities. The majority of them are fascinated by advancements in the technology sector. They prefer spending time in sitting front of a TV and computers. Linking Words
However
,we should take necessary actions to motivate Linking Words
students
to attend the daily physical education Use synonyms
classes
.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that daily physical activity Use synonyms
classes
can help Use synonyms
students
combat the issue of being overweight. Use synonyms
Thus
the young generation will be able to reap numerous benefits like improved stamina, sportsman spirit and Linking Words
overall
fitness by attending daily physical education Linking Words
classes
.Use synonyms
Submitted by sb101tahirgul on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
supported main points
Make sure to develop your main points with specific examples and evidence. While your essay mentions research studies, it would be stronger with direct references or specific data to back up your claims.
task achievement
Your response to the task is complete, but to improve further aim to develop a more nuanced argument that acknowledges possible counterarguments or different perspectives in greater depth.
logical structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but consider improving the transition between your ideas in the body paragraphs for a smoother flow of information.
coherence cohesion
To get a higher score in coherence and cohesion, it's important to use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.