Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals;during festival periods,people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #festivals #periods

Some

people

argue that

festivals

are losing their religious meaning and that

festivals

are celebrated for the purpose of enjoyment.I believe that enjoying the process of

holidays

is now the most important

while

I still suppose that a few

people

still know the original meaning of

festivals

. On the one hand,religious and traditional

festivals

are used for fun.In the UK and in other developed countries the Christmas holiday can be the best example of

this

People

mostly tend to buy gifts, decorate their homes and enjoy their

holidays

.Most

people

celebrate Christmas as a holiday by spending their time for fun ,rather than concentrating on their beliefs.

On the other hand

,I didn’t agree that traditional

holidays

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been forgotten.

For example

,in the UK,students from primary schools study religious lessons in

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

show examples

and reasons

Change preposition

apply

show examples

why they have to celebrate

festivals

.It is true that parents

also

play

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

role

Change preposition

show examples

their children’s knowledge about religious and traditional

festivals

.In early

ages

Add a comma

,ages

show examples

parents can encourage their children to celebrate

festivals

by telling them stories about their religion. In conclusion,

people

can celebrate

holidays

for fun,but they

still

Add a missing verb

are still

show examples

aware of these celebrations.

Submitted by bekzodeshonjonovv on Tue May 09 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

184 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Commercialization
Globalization
Cultural dilution
Traditional values
Secularization
Festivity
Heritage
Individualism vs. collectivism
Consumer culture
Intangible cultural heritage

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Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals;during festival periods,people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

As children become adults, their social behaviour changes in some ways. What are the main differences between young children’s social behaviour and that of adults? To what extent are the changes that take place good?

Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, mainly tourists, but not local people, visit museums and historical sites. Why does this happen? What can be done to attract more local people to visit places?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answeers and include relevant examples from your own knowlwdge or experience.