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Band 6

some people believe that it is good to share as muc information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

#people #muc #information #research #business #world
Many individuals think that exchanging
information
 as much as possible in some areas
such
 as science, business, and the academic world has advantages. But
others
 say that sharing freely some
information
 is wrong because some of them are too vital or too valuable. And I think it is true that some
information
 should not be shared freely. sharing
information
 for free is not a good
idea
 for several reasons.
Firstly
, some
people
 are talented in some areas like scientific research and they spend almost their whole life in labs to discover medicines or other things. In that
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
 they have to spend a lot of money on their experiments to get
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 right results. So, if they
share
 their results for free, how can they earn money to pay their bills?
Moreover
, some of them do not have any other sources to earn money.
Secondly
, some
information
 and inventions in businesses make a difference in their products or services that lead to more
people
 buying or using them and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 a lot of financial
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
.
However
, if they
share
 their knowledge for free, they might not be able to compete with other companies.
Therefore
, for these
reasons
Add a comma
,reasons
show examples
 it is not a good
idea
 to
share
 some
information
 for free. But sharing some
information
 freely has its own advantages. Some knowledge is not very important and if
people
share
 it, it has a good influence on society. The key role is that
people
 must learn to
share
 their useful knowledge
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
others
. If
people
 do that, in the long term society might be more dynamic.
For example
, in small groups
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
Add a comma
,university
show examples
 students have different skills that some don't have, like time management. Sharing some useful
information
 and tips in time management to
others
, makes other teammates work more efficiently or be more productive. In conclusion, some
people
 say that sharing
information
 is a very good
idea
 and individuals should do it as much as they can. But,
others
 like me think that it is not a good
idea
 to
share
information
 for free.
Submitted by shahab_e2020 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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