Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

The developments we have achieved during the
last
century caused a rapid change in our behaviour and habits. From communication to transportation, everything has changed, so that our tasks are less demanding and repetitive. Even though our life has become easier, it might change in the
forseeable
Correct your spelling
foreseeable
future. Despite the disadvantages, I am inclined to believe that as far as we dominate
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
technology, the will not be detrimental. It is certain that the recent technological advantages have altered the way our tasks are carried out. Even writing books or teaching have experienced plenty of changes which, in fact, facilitate the task of the writer or teacher.
For instance
, a teacher who had to correct a sizeable amount of exams
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
could use the latest AI models so that the time required to finalize
this
task might be reduced to minutes, when it used to take hours, if not days.
Furthermore
, the introduction of these advantages
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
led to a safer environment. When it comes to transportation, it is common knowledge that the death rate
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
human errors is humongous. Many self-driving cars have reduced these casualties by eliminating
this
error. Some people may believe that the lack of human decision might provoke major threats. Even though, the algorithms and the design that rules these instruments are done by humans, the human errors themselves are a bigger concern. Following all the points mentioned above, it is crucial to note that machines might never replace humans.
Nevertheless
, artificial creations have come to stay and learning how to live with them might ease our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation.
Submitted by dar.rodriguez.ramos on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure clarity in expressing the main idea. The essay somewhat revolves around the topic, but deeper exploration or contrast is recommended to enrich the text.
task achievement
Present more examples to reinforce the points made. While the essay includes relevant examples, a few more would further substantiate the argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical progression between ideas. The essay generally flows well, but some transitions between points could be smoother to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay features a well-defined structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic effectively, presenting both positive and negative aspects of reliance on computer technology.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear thesis statement and follows through with logical reasoning and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance
  • cybersecurity
  • over-reliance
  • digital divide
  • data breach
  • cyberbullying
  • diagnostic machines
  • electronic health records
  • automated vehicles
  • predictive maintenance
  • real-time monitoring
  • vulnerability
  • misinformation
  • hacking
  • efficiency
  • navigation systems
  • traditional skills
  • system failures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: