IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#companies #sponsor #sports #people
Some
companies
 paid for
sports
such
 as football and basketball for advertisement. Some individuals think it is beneficial
while
 others argue that there are drawbacks to
this
.
Although
 some people think there is a have negative points, I believe, it is to advertise themselves. On the
one
 hand, showing
companies
' products on
sports
teams
' t-shirts can affect humans who do not like that team. Being fanatical about
sports
 events can influence adults' or even child decisions. When those
teams
 play against their strongest opponent, supporters will not appreciate seeing the logo on their shirts, and, eventually, the company that sponsored that team will have some damage to their profit.
For example
, in Turkey, Vodafone sponsored Besiktas and their field financially but other
teams
 which have the most crowded audience in Turkey decided to cancel their subscriptions.
However
, I believe that it might be bad for
companies
' profit it is still worth doing it.
On the other hand
, when a not big popular company produce new goods, they are tending to show them public with an advertisement. The most part of the world, football and basketball is
one
 of the most favourite events.
Therefore
,
companies
 are to
Change the verb
wish
show examples
wishing
Add the particle
towishing
show examples
 compete with their rivals by agreeing with those
teams
.
Also
, the public started to trust all those products. Because, when we are going to supermarkets, we are buying products that we are similar with.
For instance
, in Turkey,
one
 company just revealed namely Hangikredi. They are providing special interest rates for banks. In the beginning, nobody was not counting on that website until they sponsored
one
 of the Turkish football
teams
 and
then
 they become popular and trustful among the public. In conclusion, despite, cooperation with
sports
 events may be hazardous in some cases , I believe it is beneficial for
companies
 and advertising is essential to be successful.
Submitted by gultekinmahmutgazi on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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