IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Once children start school, teachers become a more important influence on children's intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #school #teachers #influence #development #parents
I partially disagree with the statement that
teachers
 become a more important
influence
 on
children
's intellectual and social
development
 than
parents
 once
children
 start school.
While
teachers
 play a crucial
role
 in a
child
's academic
development
,
parents
 continue to be the primary caregivers who shape a
child
's
overall
development
. During a
child
's early years,
parents
 are the primary
influence
 on their
child
's
development
, shaping their values, beliefs, and social skills. They create a nurturing environment and provide a strong foundation for their
child
's future academic success.
Children
's educational experiences at school build on what they have learned from their
parents
 and can help develop their cognitive and social skills.
However
,
parents
 remain the most significant
influence
 in their
child
's life, continuing to play a vital
role
 in their
development
.
Teachers
'
role
 is critical in a
child
's academic
development
. They provide guidance and instruction in various subjects, help
children
 develop study skills, and identify and address learning difficulties.
Teachers
also
 serve as positive
role
 models and mentors to students, shaping their values and attitudes towards education and learning.
However
,
teachers
 have limited time and resources to provide individualized attention to each student. They
also
 have to contend with the challenges of managing a large class size, diverse learning needs, and limited resources. In conclusion,
while
teachers
 play an essential
role
 in a
child
's academic
development
,
parents
 remain the primary
influence
 on their
child
's
overall
development
. The partnership between
parents
 and
teachers
 is critical to a
child
's success, and both parties should work together to support the
child
's growth and
development
.
Submitted by ryohei.1015.golf on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: