IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

nowadays more and more people decide to have children later in their life. what are the reason? what are the effects on society and family life?

#people #children #life #reason #effects #society
Currently, the number of men and women who make a decision to have a toddler later in their
life
 increases significantly.
This
 trend has many reasons
such
 as the economic
crisis
moreover
, a rising average of old is a negative aspect of that. In
this
 essay, I intend to explain the reason and effects of that in
society
 and family. On the one hand, there are those who subscribe to the view that the economic
crisis
 is a decisive factor
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 delay to have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
children
 in their
life
. From
this
 point of view, they insist that the high costs of parturition, schools , feeding and clothes of
children
 prohibit
parents
 to have
children
 sooner in their lifetime.
In contrast
 of that, the low wage is another factor
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their decision.
Furthermore
,governments usually do not have a pleasant plan to support families when they have an infant and after that. consequence, the
parents
 prefer to have a kid when have a better economic condition.
On the other hand
, many experts justifiably argue that there are many disadvantages for
society
 and families when
parents
 birth
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 older age. They believe one of the problems for families is the age difference between
parents
 and
children
. that trend has a negative effect on the training of
children
 because the
parents
 will not have a good
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
 with their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 especially when they will teenagers.
Moreover
, they will not have enough knowledge about a wide variety of new things in the modern era.
Additionally
, the drawback of that happening in
society
 has risen average age in the country and it will be a huge
crisis
 for the young workforce in the long run. In conclusion,
although
 there are many reasons for the increasing number of
parents
 who have a child later in their
life
, the main cause for
this
 trend might be the economic
crisis
.
Besides
this
 happening have some drawbacks for
society
 and family
life
such
 as different generations and problems among workers.
Submitted by amirhsina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: