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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people prefer to stay in the same type of work all their life, whereas others prefer to change the type of work. Discuss both sides and state your own opinion.

#people #type #work #life #change
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Some
people
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 like to come out of their comfort zone, and change their field,
whereas
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 some
people
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 like to
work
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 in the same kind all their lifetime. In
this
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 essay, we will delve into both perspectives, and I will share why changing the type of
work
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 is good for us. The current generation takes more risks to be financially independent. To illustrate, nowadays,
people
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 do not hesitate to switch jobs or choose a different career path as their main goal is to earn more money, and for , that they are ready to give what it takes.
Moreover
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,
this
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 part of society believes in the quote, “You only live once” which reflects that
work
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 where you do not lose your mental peace and have a better
work
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-life balance.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 opine that it is better to stay in the same industry because it will help us in the long run in one way or the other. If someone starts working as a software engineer,
then
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 after working for some years he can be a subject matter expert which will help him to get a promotion and a better salary.
Additionally
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, it will help him to go up the ladder faster and be a part of higher management.
To conclude
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, I think it is good to change the type of
work
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 we do as it helps us to grow faster and not to be stuck in one place.
However
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, many
people
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 like to stay in the same kind of
work
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 all their life
due to
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 various reasons like family responsibilities etc.
Submitted by kuldeepakdhir on

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task response
The essay provides a balanced view on the topic and presents relevant reasons for both perspectives. However, the response lacks depth and doesn't fully address the prompt, as it could benefit from more specific examples and counterarguments.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main arguments. However, the logical structure of the essay could be improved for better coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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