These days, a great number of children prefer spending time on computer games rather than on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development?

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These days,a huge number of kids like using time on

computer

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

rather than on outdoor activities.In my opinion,it is a negative trend and I will discuss the reason in the following essay.

To begin

Linking Words

with , most

computer

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games

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nowadays have attractive

gameplays

Fix the agreement mistake

gameplay

show examples

Correct word choice

and

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highly quality

graphic

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graphics

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such

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as real life or distinctive worlds

make

Correct pronoun usage

that make

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the player curious

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about

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the storyline. In the past,

computer

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games

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just has 2d

graphic

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graphics

show examples

but now it changed to an open world for players to find out every secret in

games

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For example

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,the game named Elden Rings which is the Game of the

year

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Year

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in 2022,

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apply

show examples

has

extensive

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an extensive

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map with magical effects,the higher boss difficult levels.The gamers acted in the characters and they control to make the character do everything they could. Electronic

games

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have been designed to be over-engrossing, overwhelming other forms of entertainment and easily capturing children’s attention.

Therefore

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,with these

games

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property

also

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tackled

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apply

show examples

the lifestyle of the children, they are familiar with long sitting erects a psychological barrier to outdoor physical activities.

Next,

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it is scientifically

prove

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proven

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that addiction to computerized

games

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is highly associated with dangerous health problems.

For example

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with

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apply

show examples

long times sitting on the

computer

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cause

the

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apply

show examples

back issues and affect the eyes

such

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far-sighted

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being far-sighted

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Beside

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Besides

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stay

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staying

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at home

also

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make the child has less

communicate

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communication

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skills,

these

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which

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could lead to anti-social

behaviors

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behaviours

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mental

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and mental

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diseases. In conclusion, playing

computer

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games

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is becoming more popular than sports

due to

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the interesting and interactive content,

together with

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the low demand for physical strength. I personally believe that

this

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trend does more harm than good and should be prevented to ensure the proper development of children.

anhnguhongmaiWed May 10 2023

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

allure
captivate
supervise
accessible
scarcity
safer alternative
peer pressure
educational tools
cognitive skills
implications
obesity
poor posture
hand-eye coordination
problem-solving abilities

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These days, a great number of children prefer spending time on computer games rather than on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationship. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answers and explain from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?