IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people believe that if police force carries guns, it can encourage a higher level of violence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #police #force #guns #level #violence
The bar
chart
 illustrates a
countrie’s
Correct your spelling
country’s
 export earnings between 2015 and 2016. The exports are really various,
such
 as petroleum products, engineered goods and Textiles.
In addition
,
table
Correct article usage
the table
show examples
chart
 shows the
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of change in values. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
presented in
bar
Add an article
a bar
the bar
show examples
chart
, petroleum
valued
Add a missing verb
was valued
show examples
 60
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 in 2015 but it raised about 3% the next year. Engineered goods had
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 a good amount of
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 petroleum. It was about 55
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 at first but
growed
Wrong verb form
grew to
show examples
 more than 60. Gems and
jewelleries
Change the wording
jewellery
pieces of jewellery
show examples
 are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
 values
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 in 2016, almost 5.5% of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 values
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
. In 20.15 its value was about 42 billion
dollers
Correct your spelling
dollars
 which is really bad for the country. Agricultural products have the smallest proportion of rising to compare. It has risen less than 1% in 2016 which is almost 30 billion
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
.
This
 country's earning in textiles is the major one. The
chart
 shows that about 15%
it
Change preposition
of it
show examples
raise
Wrong verb form
raised
show examples
 in value. In 2015 its
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 25 billion but has
risen
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
more
Change preposition
to more
show examples
 than 30 million in 2016 which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a huge amount of money to earn for
this
 country.
Submitted by shojaeinejad_m on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrence
  • Arms race
  • Public perception
  • Militarization
  • Law enforcement
  • Escalation of conflict
  • Lethal force
  • Use-of-force policies
  • Crime deterrence
  • Civil liberty
  • Community policing
  • De-escalation techniques
  • Accountability
  • Apprehension
  • Non-lethal alternatives
  • Social fabric
  • Judicial oversight
What to do next:
Look at other essays: