some people beleive that it is important to keep the home and the work place tidy and organized. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

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Organization and tidiness at the workplace and house are of immense importance,
according to
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a group of people. I am in complete agreement with
this
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statement as it is loaded with benefits and no drawbacks.
To begin
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with, organizing and managing things is a sort of skill that everyone should have and can help a
person
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in several ways. First of all, time could be saved. An object lying in its correct position is easy to locate.
Hence
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, time that could be wasted
while
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searching it, will be saved.
Secondly
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, it is hard to concentrate in a messy area. As per research, a human can focus better in a well-organized
place
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rather than in an untidy
place
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. Because the
person
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will be able to spend most of his time working
instead
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of cleaning up the jumble.
Additionally
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, on a mental level, cleanliness or tidiness and management give a
person
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, a sense of satisfaction. Some people feel irritated living in an unorganized site. A study suggests if a
person
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is feeling stressed or sad for some reason, they should try cleaning up the
place
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they are living in and the results come positive.
Moreover
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, personality is judged by the way an individual's home is arranged. So, to
pose
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make
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a good impression one should take good care of their home.
Also
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, staying in an uncleaned
place
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is not healthy as
such
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a
place
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is prone to bugs.
To conclude
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, a chaotic
place
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whether it is home or workplace is disliked by everyone
thus
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these should be cleaned and ordered.
Submitted by me1090905 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents ideas in a logical structure with clear paragraphing; to further improve, aim to create smoother transitions and utilize a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the logical flow throughout the text.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present and effectively encapsulate the essay's main points. To strengthen these sections, refine your opening statement to more precisely address the prompt and ensure your concluding paragraph succinctly summarizes your argument without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
The essay supports main points with explanations, but to elevate your score, incorporate more precise and varied examples that are directly linked to the argument to reinforce your points. Diverse evidence and illustrations boost the persuasiveness of the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided a clear response to the prompt, however, to achieve a higher band, ensure that your response fully develops all parts of the prompt. Expand on your ideas by offering more nuanced arguments and providing a balanced view if the prompt calls for a discussion rather than a one-sided opinion.
task achievement
While your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, strive to deepen your analysis by exploring the implications and counterarguments related to each idea. This will not only demonstrate your ability to think critically but also ensure a more comprehensive coverage of the topic.
task achievement
Examples provided in the essay are relevant but somewhat generic. Next time, employ specific, detailed examples to support your views. This specificity adds credibility to your position and shows an ability to think critically about the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • mental well-being
  • professionalism
  • attention to detail
  • work-life balance
  • innovation
  • creativity
  • mental clutter
  • order and control
  • infrastructure
  • ergonomics
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