All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born

All

fathers

Use synonyms

should have the right to take

time

Use synonyms

off from work when they have an infant

child

Use synonyms

. In my opinion,

due to

Linking Words

mental

support

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

assistance with household chores from the father to the

child

Use synonyms

and mother, I agree with

this

Linking Words

approach.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

fathers

Use synonyms

can provide emotional

support

Use synonyms

to their wives.

That is

Linking Words

to say, mothers are very sensitive and irritable during the postpartum period,

therefore

Linking Words

they need to be accompanied by their husbands during

this

Linking Words

time

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, lack of psychological and emotional

support

Use synonyms

from the husbands can increase depression and stress, caused by hormonal changes and will alleviate the bond between couples, especially today most people are living in a nuclear family and it is seen that mentally exhausted people are more than before.

In addition

Linking Words

, it is necessary for

fathers

Use synonyms

to help their wives and reduce the physical pressure that can increase on the mother when a new

child

Use synonyms

enters the family. Because at

this

Linking Words

time

Use synonyms

, mothers have to devote their

time

Use synonyms

both to raising their children and doing household chores

such

Linking Words

as cleaning and cooking.

For instance

Linking Words

, each parent can take turns doing housework

while

Linking Words

the other takes care of the

child

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, striking a balance between doing housework and fostering children will warm the hearts of the family. In conclusion, it is necessary for

fathers

Use synonyms

to take

time

Use synonyms

off because it can help mothers with mental and physical

support

Use synonyms

and doing housework.

hongminh317

Mar 1, 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To improve your Task Response, focus on elaborating further on your key points with more diverse examples and evidence. This could involve citing studies, statistics, or introducing hypothetical scenarios that demonstrate the implications of fathers not taking time off. This would strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

For enhancing your Coherence and Cohesion, aim to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. While your essay flows well, integrating transition phrases like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', 'In addition to', can add sophistication and clarity. Also, consider varying your sentence structures to add rhythm and flow to your writing, which will make your essay more engaging.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?
Living in a house or an apartment depends on people’s taste and their budgets. Many individuals would like to live in a home, whereas others think that staying in a flat has several benefits. While there are more benefits associated with living in a house, I believe having an apartment has more advantages than living in a house.
6
band
Most Countries allow 18 year olds to start driving a car. Some say it is good to allow it at this age, while others think that the age to start driving should be at least 25. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Most countries allow people at least 18 years old to start driving a car, however, some people say that it is good for them to learn at this age while others say should be at least 25. Therefore, in this passage, I will provide my opinion about those points of view and give my opinion about it.
7
band
Pollution around the world is becoming a serious problem. Do you think this is a problem that should be solved internationally or at a local level?
Nowadays people are concerned about various global problems and pollution is one of these. More and more waste is produced all over the world by society leads to the pollution of our planet. Hence, I am convinced that this obstacle should be solved at the international level.
8
band
Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
Numerous countries are diligently enhancing their standards of living through economic growth. Yet, this quest often entails the sacrifice of fundamental social values. This essay contends that economic benefits and social values need not be in conflict; rather, a balanced, sustainable approach is the optimal strategy.
7
band
Some people say that it is possible for a country to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Others disagree. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Recently, it seems that the first countries are having bad pollution caused by their numerous energy-producing factories while the third countries may have better conditions to live in. Some say that it is possible for a nation to have both a good economic state and a clean environment. However, other people disagree with this statement. This writing will give a discussion and my opinion on the topic.

All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born

Your opinion

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Most Countries allow 18 year olds to start driving a car. Some say it is good to allow it at this age, while others think that the age to start driving should be at least 25. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Pollution around the world is becoming a serious problem. Do you think this is a problem that should be solved internationally or at a local level?

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that it is possible for a country to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Others disagree. Discuss both view and give your opinion.