All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born

All

fathers

Use synonyms

should have the right to take

time

Use synonyms

off from work when they have an infant

child

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. In my opinion,

due to

Linking Words

mental

support

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as well as

Linking Words

assistance with household chores from the father to the

child

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and mother, I agree with

this

Linking Words

approach.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

fathers

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can provide emotional

support

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to their wives.

That is

Linking Words

to say, mothers are very sensitive and irritable during the postpartum period,

therefore

Linking Words

they need to be accompanied by their husbands during

this

Linking Words

time

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For example

Linking Words

, lack of psychological and emotional

support

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from the husbands can increase depression and stress, caused by hormonal changes and will alleviate the bond between couples, especially today most people are living in a nuclear family and it is seen that mentally exhausted people are more than before.

In addition

Linking Words

, it is necessary for

fathers

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to help their wives and reduce the physical pressure that can increase on the mother when a new

child

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enters the family. Because at

this

Linking Words

time

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, mothers have to devote their

time

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both to raising their children and doing household chores

such

Linking Words

as cleaning and cooking.

For instance

Linking Words

, each parent can take turns doing housework

while

Linking Words

the other takes care of the

child

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Therefore

Linking Words

, striking a balance between doing housework and fostering children will warm the hearts of the family. In conclusion, it is necessary for

fathers

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to take

time

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off because it can help mothers with mental and physical

support

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and doing housework.

hongminh317

Mar 1, 2024

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task achievement

To improve your Task Response, focus on elaborating further on your key points with more diverse examples and evidence. This could involve citing studies, statistics, or introducing hypothetical scenarios that demonstrate the implications of fathers not taking time off. This would strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

For enhancing your Coherence and Cohesion, aim to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. While your essay flows well, integrating transition phrases like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', 'In addition to', can add sophistication and clarity. Also, consider varying your sentence structures to add rhythm and flow to your writing, which will make your essay more engaging.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

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All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born

Your opinion

Some parents think that their children should study in other countries because it has a number of benefits. Others think by studying in other countries, children will face a lot of problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Today different types of robots are being developed which can serve as companions and workers to help at work and at home. Is this a positive or negative development?

Employers should focus on personal qualities instead of qualifications and experience when choosing someone for a job. To what extent do you agree?

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?