The chart above shows information about various professions in the U.K. and their salaries. The table shows the average working hours per week for each profession

The chart above shows information about various professions in the U.K. and their salaries. The table shows the average working hours per week for each profession
The graphs elucidate the salary gaps between new
commers
Correct your spelling
comers
and experienced workers in four professions in the UK,
along with
it, the average working length in various job positions respectively.
Overall
, underground drivers are the most profitable
porfessions
Correct your spelling
professions
professionals
profession
among others,
while
nurses
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
for the lowest payments.
In contrast
, underground
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
have the most leisure time
while
firefighters spent the most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time on
work
compared to others.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
professions indicate 1000
pound
salary differences between people with three years
working
Change preposition
of working
show examples
experienced and those who just started, except
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
, in which the former earned 2000
pound
more than the latter. On top of that, underground drivers could
earned
Change the verb form
earn
show examples
up to 51000
pound
Change to a plural noun
pounds
show examples
as the highest, which is two times more than nurses, at 19000
pound
Change to a plural noun
pounds
show examples
. Reversely, underground drivers who earn the most among others, only
work
36 hours per week,
while
firefighters spent 55 hours on
work
per week. Despite nurses earn the least,
however
, they only
work
38 hours per week,
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words work, pound with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: