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Band 6.5

Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#species #world #people #countries #individuals #animals #beings
Nowadays, the extinction of animals and birds is a growing cause of concern. It is often argued whether people should take the initiative in order to protect wildlife or they must focus more on their worries related to healthcare and poverty. In my view, both issues must be given equal importance.
This
 essay will elucidate both opinions and my assertion in the forthcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
, animal species play an imperative in our biodiversity. If animals are extinct, the ecosystem will be imbalanced. Sadly,
due to
 human activities like hunting, deforestation, etc., many of them have lost their
lives
.
For instance
, India is quite popular for its Bengal tigers and attracts many tourists from all over the world. Unfortunately,
due to
 severe hunting activities, they are on the verge of extinction. If animal beings are exterminated,
then
 it will lead to severe consequences like an overpopulation of other species, which could create other problems and even threats to human
lives
.
Thus
, action must be taken promptly to control
such
 activities so that we can protect them from depletion.
Apart from
this
 issue, in current times, humans are facing other problems related to health and poverty.
For example
,
due to
 covid pandemic, many people lost their
lives
as well as
 suffered losses in businesses because of the lockdown.
This
 made it necessary to advance in science and technology so that
such
 incidents can be dealt with swiftly.
Hence
, it is
substantial
Correct word choice
important
show examples
 for people to pay attention to the issues affecting their
lives
.
To conclude
,
although
 humans focus more on their difficulties, they must realise the need to concentrate on depleting animal diversity in order to refrain from future problems.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly reflect the main points of the essay. Provide a stronger connection between the main ideas in each paragraph to improve coherence and cohesion.
task response
Address both views in more depth and provide more balanced arguments. Ensure that the examples provided are directly related to the arguments presented.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • cascading effects
  • economic impacts
  • ecosystem
  • endangered species
  • environmental conservation
  • human welfare
  • moral duty
  • preserve
  • sustainable practices
  • habitats
  • interconnected
  • extinction
  • advocates
  • opponents
  • priority
What to do next:
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