IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns?

#people #cities #face #life #government #move #towns
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In
this
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 era, humans in metropolitans are suffering from different sorts of
problems
Use synonyms
 in their daily lives.
Therefore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 in those places become stressed and exhausted from being there. In
this
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 essay, the
problems
Use synonyms
 of being in urban
areas
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 and the action that the
government
Use synonyms
 should take. Some decades ago, the
population
Use synonyms
 in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 was higher than those in urban
areas
Use synonyms
.
However
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,
due to
Linking Words
 urbanisation, the
population
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 density in metropolitans is getting higher and higher which leads
lots
Change preposition
to lots
show examples
 of difficulties as consequences.
Firstly
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, because of the high
population
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, land scarcity occurs, resulting in very limited space for
people
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 to live in where there is
no
Correct your spelling
not
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 enough space for children to play, no
areas
Use synonyms
 to grow plants and many more.
Moreover
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, since the quantity of cars is significantly high, the public is suffering from parking scarcity which can even cause quarrels to fight for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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parking.
The pollution
Correct article usage
Pollution
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 is another problem as the higher the
population
Use synonyms
, the more pollution in the environment.
Next,
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almost every area of
cities
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 is crowded with humans, contributing to
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 transmission of diseases when compared to
outskirts
Correct article usage
the outskirts
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. These are
main
Correct article usage
the main
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problems
Use synonyms
 of being in large
cities
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. Some
people
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 believed that in order to reduce the
population
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 in metropolitans,
people
Use synonyms
 should move to regional towns
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the encouragement of the
government
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. In my opinion, I think
this
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 would not be a good solution. Even some citizens leave their
hometown
Fix the agreement mistake
hometowns
show examples
 in order to grasp opportunities in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 in terms of jobs and education, where they can
also
Linking Words
 access more systematic medical services,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, and other social activities. That’s why it would be really harsh to remove them from
cities
Use synonyms
 since
people
Use synonyms
 should have a right to choose their place to live in. That’s why
instead
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 of reducing the
population
Use synonyms
 in urban
areas
Use synonyms
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should set the rule to control some
problems
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such
Linking Words
 as enacting a strict law to reduce carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 in order to reduce pollutants in the environment,
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 public playgrounds and parks for those who do not have enough space for them at home. In conclusion, even though
people
Use synonyms
 are facing difficulties in
Use synonyms
cities
Correct article usage
the cities
show examples
 mentioned above, the
government
Use synonyms
 should find solutions for them rather than encouraging
people
Use synonyms
 to move to regional towns, which is not the best solution.
Submitted by pyaekyitharchaw884 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban congestion
  • traffic jams
  • lengthy commutes
  • high cost of living
  • financial strain
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • quality of life
  • green space
  • recreational areas
  • social isolation
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • public services strain
  • overpopulation
What to do next:
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