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Band 5

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns?

#people #cities #face #life #government #move #towns
In
this
 era, humans in metropolitans are suffering from different sorts of
problems
 in their daily lives.
Therefore
,
people
 in those places become stressed and exhausted from being there. In
this
 essay, the
problems
 of being in urban
areas
 and the action that the
government
 should take. Some decades ago, the
population
 in rural
areas
 was higher than those in urban
areas
.
However
,
due to
 urbanisation, the
population
 density in metropolitans is getting higher and higher which leads
lots
Change preposition
to lots
show examples
 of difficulties as consequences.
Firstly
, because of the high
population
, land scarcity occurs, resulting in very limited space for
people
 to live in where there is
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 enough space for children to play, no
areas
 to grow plants and many more.
Moreover
, since the quantity of cars is significantly high, the public is suffering from parking scarcity which can even cause quarrels to fight for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parking.
The pollution
Correct article usage
Pollution
show examples
 is another problem as the higher the
population
, the more pollution in the environment.
Next,
almost every area of
cities
 is crowded with humans, contributing to
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 transmission of diseases when compared to
outskirts
Correct article usage
the outskirts
show examples
. These are
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
problems
 of being in large
cities
. Some
people
 believed that in order to reduce the
population
 in metropolitans,
people
 should move to regional towns
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the encouragement of the
government
. In my opinion, I think
this
 would not be a good solution. Even some citizens leave their
hometown
Fix the agreement mistake
hometowns
show examples
 in order to grasp opportunities in urban
areas
 in terms of jobs and education, where they can
also
 access more systematic medical services,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, and other social activities. That’s why it would be really harsh to remove them from
cities
 since
people
 should have a right to choose their place to live in. That’s why
instead
 of reducing the
population
 in urban
areas
, the
government
 should set the rule to control some
problems
such
 as enacting a strict law to reduce carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 in order to reduce pollutants in the environment,
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 public playgrounds and parks for those who do not have enough space for them at home. In conclusion, even though
people
 are facing difficulties in
cities
Correct article usage
the cities
show examples
 mentioned above, the
government
 should find solutions for them rather than encouraging
people
 to move to regional towns, which is not the best solution.
Submitted by pyaekyitharchaw884 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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