IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

“Government should spend money on railway rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree?”

#“government #money #railway #roads
The importance of improving
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 over
roads
 which was debatable has now become more controversial with many
people
claimimg
Correct your spelling
claiming
 that it is beneficial,
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 reject
this
 notion. Both
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
 and
roads
 are essential aspects for citizens in the country.
Correct your spelling
Although
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
roads
 are important and many
people
 in society use their
car
 daily,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 help much more residents in the cites First of all,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
roads
 are
cruial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
 traffic.
Railway
Fix the agreement mistake
Railways
show examples
 serve many
people
 in the country and transport daily students to school and workers to work.
To begin
 with, one of
key
Correct article usage
the key
show examples
 and foremost
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
, public
transportation
 helps all sectors of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
For instance
, students , and
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 can use trains ,
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
,and even
metro
Correct article usage
the metro
show examples
 for their daily activities.
Secondly
, public
transportation
save
Change the verb form
saves
show examples
people
 time .
For example
, in rush hours, using
train
Correct article usage
a train
show examples
 or metro saves twice the time needed to reach a location than using
personal
Add an article
a personal
show examples
car
.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, nowadays the number of accidents
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 in rapid growth
due to
car
crush
Correct your spelling
crash
show examples
.
Furthermore
, death
due to
car
 accidents outraced
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
 and
according to
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 research
conduct
Wrong verb form
conducted
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
university
Correct your spelling
University
show examples
 of
jordan
Change the capitalization
Jordan
show examples
 which state that cars are the most dangerous
transportation
 tool. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, Both
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
 and
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
 are important
each
Correct word choice
and each
show examples
 help
people
 in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 in many ways. In my view,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 might spend more
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 over
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
 because it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 huge
people
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
people
 and is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one of the safest
transportation
route
Change to a plural noun
routes
show examples
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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