Increasing the price is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The importance of a
price
rise in transportation fees which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial while
others reject this
notion. From my point of view, it is essential to raise the costs of using vehicles
due to
the reduction of air pollution and encouragement of using other ways of transport.
To begin
with, if the costs of private cars
grow, people will be less likely to use
cars
as normal traffic tools. Thus
, the carbon emission from the multitude of cars
will then
decrease. Research shows that transportation is the fourth most polluting industry in the world. It accounts for around 5% of the global carbon dioxide emission. Although
the carbon emission issue includes a lot of different aspects, the environment will improve if we start to drive less.
Apart from reducing pollution, higher prices in the usage of vehicles
can force people to use
more public transportation. In this
day and age, the cost of public transport is quite low. For instance
, if we travel by MTR in Hong Kong, the ticket fee is usually below $20 which is a one-time fee. However
, driving cars
is more expensive nowadays. If the government increases the price
of using private vehicles
, many citizens may not be able to afford the high price
. As a result
, they will use
other transports. In addition
, they will even try to choose walking instead
of using the bus or MTR.
In conclusion, I firmly think that we should increase the price
of using private cars
because it can diminish the negative impact on the environment and change the mindset of the public that we have to use
private vehicles
. As long as we do that, our Earth will become more sustainable.Submitted by hhhakfatkiu on
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Task Achievement
Ensure examples are specific and directly support your argument. While general data about pollution was used, integrating specific studies or statistical data could strengthen your examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Vary your sentence structure and use a range of linking words to improve flow and cohesion. Your essay has a good structure, but more sophisticated connectors could enhance clarity and coherence.
Task Achievement
Develop your paragraphs further by discussing the potential challenges and how they could be addressed. This would provide a more balanced view and deeper analysis of the topic.
Introduction and Conclusion
You have a clear thesis statement and appropriate conclusion, which effectively encapsulate your view and summary of the argument.
Logical Structure
Your essay maintains a coherent structure with logical progression of ideas throughout.
Supported Main Points
You use relevant examples to support your points, such as the comparison of costs between MTR and private vehicle use in Hong Kong.