Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Introduction.It is indisputable that most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

are taking care of

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

children

Use synonyms

for their future.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

this

Linking Words

situation is causing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

lots of problems and

pressures

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay intends to analyze the causes of these problems which are

connecting

Wrong verb form

connected

show examples

to academic popular and commercial

approach

Fix the agreement mistake

approaches

show examples

and suggest some measures to alleviate the issue. Body1.Nowadays there are many academic

pressures

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

because today's

children

Use synonyms

encounter

Change preposition

apply

show examples

pressures

Use synonyms

Change preposition

from

show examples

their

parents

Use synonyms

or teacher.And so they diabolic each other.These are global issues around the world.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

20 years ago

children

Use synonyms

are studied with toughness by

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

.And

children

Use synonyms

faced

Change preposition

apply

show examples

pressures

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

time.And they could very afraid.And

children

Use synonyms

are limited by their

parents

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

means don't freedom on

children

Use synonyms

. Body2.The solutions are

little

Correct article usage

a little

show examples

difficult.

Parents

Use synonyms

should take care of their

children

Use synonyms

and

parents

Use synonyms

should give

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

children

Use synonyms

little freedom. The reason I say a little

Add a missing verb

is if

show examples

the

children

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

given a lot of freedom they can uneducated.And nowadays

children

Use synonyms

are progressed the

pressures

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

their

parents

Use synonyms

Basically

Add a comma

,Basically

show examples

it is about study.

Parents

Use synonyms

want their

children

Use synonyms

to make more than one subject together.But it is incorrect.And child can

under

Add a missing verb

be under

show examples

pressure Conclusion.To summarise today's

children

Use synonyms

are coming across from variety

approaches

Change preposition

of approaches

show examples

. There is no doubt if

children

Use synonyms

go abroad in the future and study the system that educates them maybe these

pressures

Use synonyms

will disappear.

Linking Words

Otherwise

Add a comma

,Otherwise

show examples

these

pressures

Use synonyms

or problems help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

physical and psychological growth

Change preposition

show examples

they

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Thu May 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

231 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

academic pressure
globalized world
competitive education system
social media influences
cyberbullying
commercial pressures
aggressive marketing
materialistic desires
peer pressure
high expectations
standardized testing
quantifiable performance
stress and anxiety
extracurricular achievements

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this gap year?
In recent years, the notion of taking a gap year between high school and university has gained popularity, with many advocating for the benefits of such an experience. While the advantages are evident, including personal growth, increased cultural awareness, and the opportunity to gain real-world experience, there are also potential drawbacks to consider. This essay will explore both sides of the gap year debate and offer insights to help individuals make informed decisions.
6.5
band
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved.
The percentage of animals and plants has gone down in these years. Personally, I would say that climate change and the worst treatment of animals cause that problem. Hence, to investigate that matter we need more comprehensive care of animals and plants with conditions that forbid the use of fire in the forest. This essay will discuss that I feel that for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
6
band
Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
A majority of humans think that individual adolescents are more rely on other ones while some humans believe the opposing argument is more correct. The author agrees with the opinion that more and more humans rely on their parent’s wishes or dependence on other choices.
7.5
band
As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some governments encourage businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Currently, transport and accommodation issues are going up in many urban areas. To solve these problems, some authorities and councils encourage businesses to move to the countryside. This essay will talk about the pros and cons of this solution and give my opinion that there are more drawbacks than benefits.
5
band
Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share the same advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of these fashions?
Nowadays, the countries keep the same ads, brands, and TV shows and share the same style of food, deleting big barriers between countries. This essay agrees with the idea that the benefits outweigh the negative aspects, especially in fashion since there is one general inclusion overall in the world.

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Fully explain your ideas

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this gap year?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved.

Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some governments encourage businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share the same advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of these fashions?