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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that it is not possible to be happy without money, while others think money does not guarantee happiness. Dicuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Proponents argue that money brings real happiness
whereas
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 opponents believe that cash flow does not bring real satisfaction. As far as I am concerned, finances are not the only way to be happy in the world even though there are many other ways which include self-love and caring for loved ones;
however
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, will discuss both views and include my opinion. On the one hand, money plays a vital role in everyone's growth. As we are educating ourselves and looking for a high-paid job is all for earning a high income.
Moreover
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, earning makes people live more comfortably as per their lifestyle,
while
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 some think having a lavish house, costly mobile phone, luxurious car and bike makes them happier
as well
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as
Correct word choice
and
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 they will spend their whole income on getting top brand products.
Nevertheless
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, some public believe that being wealthy gives them all and they can get whatever they wish.
For instance
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,
according to
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 the research, well-settled people live their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 much easier than middle-class or lower-class communities, as they always work for their daily needs.
Thus
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, in the contemporary world, not only living rich but
also
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 feeding ourselves and our family on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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 basis funds are significant.
On the other hand
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, being wealthy does not mean happiness,
although
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 being healthy brings all wealth
in addition
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 to spending some joyful time with family.
Therefore
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, good health is of the utmost importance for each individual to lead their activity in a cheerful way
along with
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 those who spend their free time with family and friends, taking care of children and fulfilling their needs and
also
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 providing an education.
For example
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, in recent years, most population spending their cash on hospitals for their treatments to get a healthy life which means fortune is being in good physical condition. Yet, some studies show that people who are materialized tend to be less happy than those who are not.
To conclude
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, more spending on brands and showing off does not lead to fulfilment in anyone's life
instead
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 it is all based on well-being
as well as
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 on your own happiness. I believe sufficient earning and a healthy lifestyle is the best way to be happy.

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay addresses both views but could benefit from a clearer structure and more precise examples. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall coherence of the essay. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a partial response to the task, addressing both views and providing a personal opinion. However, the clarity and depth of ideas could be improved. Ensure that each point is fully developed and supported with relevant examples and explanations.
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