«Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation» To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#«some #artists #sums #money #struggle #governments #steps #situation»

Recently,

artists

in the contemporary art scene have divided into the poor and the rich in the

commartial

Correct your spelling

commercial

fields. Some say that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

governments should support poor

artists

to survive and give them opportunities. I totally agree with

this

opinion because there are some advantages

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

dis advantages

Change preposition

show examples

such

helps by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

To begin

with, for the art market, it is difficult to

predicut

Correct your spelling

predict

what kind of art can be monetized.

Commartial

Correct your spelling

Commercial

galleries try to keep several

artists

, but not all

artists

can make a

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

. In

such

a situation,

artists

should continue their

creation

Fix the agreement mistake

creations

show examples

until they can get

monetize

Wrong verb form

monetised

show examples

chances.

However

, it is

also

true that galleries cannot afford their living and production costs.

Therefore

the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

support

Correct subject-verb agreement

supports

show examples

them. On the other

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

, some kinds of

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

are difficult to sell in the market.

For example

, Japanese artist, Kota Takeuchi sets his

thema

Correct your spelling

theme

on the historical problems between Japan and the US.

Furthermore

, as his expressions are shown

Change preposition

show examples

the

mainly

Change the adverb

main

show examples

performances, and always these works are difficult to sell

for

Change preposition

show examples

collectors. In

such

cases, the authority should give

artists

their funds or support because these critical activities can give various aspects to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

. Admittedly, there are some

tax-payers

Correct your spelling

taxpayers

show examples

who do not want to pay their money to

such

expressions.

For instance

, there

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

a huge demonstration in Aichi prefecture, Japan in 2019 that residents

opporsed

Correct your spelling

opposed

to pay

Change the verb form

paying

show examples

the

goverment's

Correct your spelling

government's

fund for the exhibition because some people could not accept the criticism of its

thema

Correct your spelling

theme

Nevertheless

such

critical

Correct article usage

a critical

show examples

view is actually needed

Change preposition

for

show examples

such

local people to look back

their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

society

and history. In conclusion,

although

some agreements between tax-payers should be needed, I believe that supporting

artists

by the government definitely causes positive impacts on

society

more than

abandon

Wrong verb form

abandoning

show examples

such

poor

artists

Submitted by suzueli on Fri May 12 2023

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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«Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation» To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that children shouldn’t watch a lot of TV and play video games due to the negative impacts on their mental health. Others, otherwise, think that TV or video games help chilren be more creative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government's responsibility. Other believe that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.