IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views

#people #money #celebrations #waste
There have been competing views on whether people should spend exorbitantly on family celebrations.
While
 others are of the opinion that it is essential, others opine it's an act of wasting
funds
.
Although
,
this
 is a good way to show how wealthy and social, it can be an act of wasting
funds
 because
such
 money can be channelled into investments for the
future
.
This
 essay will explicate these with relevant examples and a logical conclusion will be drawn. On the one hand, the coming together of members of a family to rejoice and show affection to one another is an act that creates a bond. Spending lavishly on individuals event is a great way to make society know how financially capable and outgoing they are so that the public can always honour the family, which makes some people see
this
 as their priority to expend a huge sum of
funds
.
For instance
, a family who celebrated their daughter's wedding ceremony made sure all kinds of the menu was available and
also
 invited the most popular song artists to sing which added to their value in society.
On the other hand
, expending extravagantly on family occasions can be considered a waste of resources which could have been spent on much more important things in the family
such
 as investing and buy of shares for
future
 purposes. When families channel a huge amount of their income on what can be regarded as just a few days' parties to showcase that they are well-to-do,
this
 can make them run bankrupt as they struggle to pay the debt for the elaborate ceremony. To illustrate, a family lavished
funds
 on their grandfather's 80th birthday
instead
 of investing in the
future
 for the younger ones, after the celebration they discovered they are in a big debt as they are owing a lot of people and
this
 brought them to disgrace their community. Conclusively,
although
 the importance of expending much on ceremonies is to denote the level of wealth, families should be aware that it can be an avenue of wasting resources that could have been useful in the
future
 and
this
 can make them run into debt.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cherish
  • nurture
  • strengthen
  • bond
  • create memories
  • enjoyment
  • sense of belonging
  • reconnect
  • unite
  • traditions
  • create traditions
  • financial burden
  • priorities
  • moderation
  • budget
  • frugal
  • extravagant
What to do next:
Look at other essays: