Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentence. Other, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Crime
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is a pressing issue in many societies, and opinions differ on the most effective way to tackle it. Some argue that imposing longer
prison
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sentences
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is the best deterrent,
while
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others believe that alternative measures,
such
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as
rehabilitation
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programs
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and social reforms, are more effective.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own view. On the one hand, longer
prison
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sentences
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can serve as a strong deterrent to potential offenders. When individuals know that committing a
crime
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could result in
a
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apply
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lengthy incarceration, they may be less likely to break the law.
For example
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, countries with strict punishment policies,
such
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as Singapore, tend to have lower
crime
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rates.
Moreover
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, extended imprisonment ensures that dangerous criminals are kept away from society for a long time, reducing the risk of repeat
offenses
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offences
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.
However
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, critics argue that
this
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approach does not address the root causes of
crime
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,
such
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as poverty, lack of
education
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, and unemployment.
On the other hand
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, alternative strategies focus on prevention and
rehabilitation
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. Many crimes are committed
due to
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socioeconomic factors, and addressing these issues can lead to a long-term reduction in
crime
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.
For instance
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, providing better access to
education
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and job opportunities can discourage young people from engaging in criminal activities.
Additionally
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,
rehabilitation
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programs
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in prisons help offenders reintegrate into society as law-abiding citizens. Countries like Norway, which
emphasize
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emphasizes
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rehabilitation
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over harsh punishment, have significantly lower recidivism rates compared to those with strict punitive systems. In my opinion,
while
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prison
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sentences
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are necessary for serious crimes, they should not be the primary method of reducing
crime
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. A balanced approach that includes both strict law enforcement and social reforms is the most effective solution. By improving
education
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, creating more job opportunities, and implementing
rehabilitation
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programs
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, societies can address the root causes of
crime
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and achieve long-lasting safety. In conclusion,
while
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longer
prison
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sentences
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may deter some criminals, alternative approaches
such
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as
education
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, employment opportunities, and
rehabilitation
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programs
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are more sustainable in reducing
crime
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. A combination of both strategies is crucial to creating a safer society.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that you always clearly present your own opinion, especially in the conclusion where your position should be unequivocally stated. Although you did this well, making it even more explicit can enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay flows well, consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. This can help make transitions smoother and enhance cohesion.
Task Achievement
You provided a clear discussion of both sides of the argument and effectively supported your points with examples, demonstrating a strong understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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