People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is quite common nowadays as parents prefer to allocate the majority of their

time

Use synonyms

to work

instead

Linking Words

of their family. In

this

Linking Words

essay, we will discuss the causes of

this

Linking Words

phenomenon

as well as

Linking Words

its impacts. There are several factors contributing to

this

Linking Words

issue, most notable are long working hours and high living costs in urban areas. Regarding the former, modern companies often demand employees to prioritize their work

above all

Linking Words

else,

therefore

Linking Words

resulting in frequent overtime sessions.

For example

Linking Words

, Japan is well-known for its dedication to work and they consider working past regulated hours as the trait of an excellent worker.

Besides

Linking Words

their morning job, most people usually have a second job as their basic salary can barely cover their basic needs in big cities.

This

Linking Words

drives people to spend their spare

time

Use synonyms

earning extra money, leaving them no

time

Use synonyms

for their families. If

this

Linking Words

situation

progress

Correct subject-verb agreement

progresses

show examples

, various problems can arise and cause severe consequences.

Firstly

Linking Words

, children would feel distanced and abandoned as their parents are away. Ultimately, they would end up with poor school performance and fear of abandonment.

Subsequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

would lead to children being subjected to violence and other crimes. Several cases have been reported in many nations and their crime rate is increasing rapidly.

This

Linking Words

can be

also

Linking Words

traced back to the lack of parental guidance, which leads to exposure to toxic content on the internet,

hence

Linking Words

their tendency to involve in criminal activities. In conclusion, costly expenditures and the extension of working hours are the culprits for the shortage of family

time

Use synonyms

As a consequence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

leaves children vulnerable to mental disorders and bad influences,

thus

Linking Words

increasing the crime rate.

trinhthanhjasonSat May 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

The essay adequately addresses the question and presents both the causes and effects of spending less time with family. However, the ideas could be more fully developed with more specific examples and explanations. Ensure that every point made in the essay is directly related to the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a logical structure, with an introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported by examples, although they could be more detailed and coherent. Strengthen the link between sentences and paragraphs, and consider using transition words and phrases to improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource

The writer uses a good range of vocabulary and phrases to express ideas. However, there are instances where more precise and varied vocabulary could enhance the depth of expression. Strive to use more sophisticated and appropriate vocabulary to convey ideas effectively.

Grammatical Range

The essay displays a reasonable grasp of grammatical structures and sentence formation. However, there are some errors in punctuation, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure. Aim for greater accuracy and complexity in sentence structures and pay attention to verb tense consistency, especially when discussing cause and effect relationships.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

predominant
commitments
imbalance
digital technology
social media
globalization
weakened
disconnected
strain
stress
mental health issues
developmental issues
behavioral problems
parental guidance

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The internet is a great source of information and has opened up opportunities for people to learn all over the world. Is all information reliable on the internet? What should be done to control information online?
With the help of the internet, which provides unlimited access to information, people can discover new knowledge from around the world. However, in my opinion, not all the information published or shared online can be trusted. To control the spread of misinformation, the government should take appropriate actions.
8
band
Organized tour to remote areas and community is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and the environment?
There is a trend these days to arrange visits to the countryside.Although some people opine that they are useful for the local community, I believe, it is not a good development for the native populace due to a disturbance in their daily routine.Moreover, it has detrimental effects on the climate due to increased waste production.
6
band
You live near a university and would like to earn some extra money by renting a room in your apartment to a student. Write a letter to the university housing office.
I am living in a cottage near Boston University. I am the only one in this house because my parents went on holiday and they will come back home next year. So I have decided to request you a student.
6
band
Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that this is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
There are some people who believe that health and education expenses should be covered by the government, while others think that nations have other priorities. This essay will explain that there is a heavier responsibility on the government`s shoulders which is a healthy industry.
6
band
In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating to much fast food. It is neccesary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree
It is often contended that governments should impose a higher tax on fast food as it is increase a number of people are suffering from health problems. From my perspective, I wholeheartedly agree with this assertion, and the following examples will be provided to support my point of view.

People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this?

The internet is a great source of information and has opened up opportunities for people to learn all over the world. Is all information reliable on the internet? What should be done to control information online?

Organized tour to remote areas and community is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and the environment?

You live near a university and would like to earn some extra money by renting a room in your apartment to a student. Write a letter to the university housing office.

Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that this is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating to much fast food. It is neccesary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree