A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children sports team for two years, or to pay for two open air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: 1) describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team. 2) summarize the benefits of paying for the concerts. 3) saying how you think the company should spend that money.

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children #sports #team #two #years #air #concerts #feedback

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope

this

letter will find you in good health and high spirits. I am writing

this

letter with regard to the feedback your company asked from the public of Central

park

housing society. I would appreciate it if you could spare a few moments to consider my opinion.

Firstly

, I would like to provide some background information on arranging a

concert

in open-air or sponsoring a

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

sport. Both of them have benefits for

people

of different age groups. The situation prompted me to reach out to you for seeking support. I would like to highlight some key points regarding supporting the

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

sports

team

for two years. There is a

team

cricket

team

at Lahore grammar school

who

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

performs very well and every year trophy in inter-school competitions between different schools situated at central

park

housing society.

Moreover

, they have very brilliant talent in their

team

especially I will mention two players, one 11-year-old batsman named Abaan Sikandar and the other

13 year old

Add a hyphen

13-year-old

show examples

Orhan Ali Shaukat. Sponsoring the

team

will help them excel in their career and the

team

will play between popular schools in the country and brighten the name of our area.

Secondly

, arranging an open-air

concert

will help many

people

of different ages to attend the event and enjoy the night and party.

Furthermore

this

will help them to make time in their busy life does socializing. Considering the aforementioned factors, I Kindly request to arrange an open-air

concert

for the community of Central

park

Correct your spelling

Park

show examples

. I believe that

people

do not have much time to socialize, and parents do not have many places to take some valuable place so

this

move,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will be a great place to meet new

people

and children can enjoy the music.

Additionally

, I would be grateful if you provide dinner after the

concert

people

can enjoy it in a better way. In conclusion, I sincerely appreciate your attention to

this

matter, and I am confident that with your support, the community of Central

Park

will have a fascinating and beautiful night. I would be more than willing to discuss

further

Correct pronoun usage

this further

show examples

or any additional information if necessary. Thank you for your time and consideration. Yours faithfully, Muhammad Rizwan Shaukat.

Submitted by rizwan.shaukat969 on Sat May 13 2023

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

373 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Word Count

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

It is believed that individuals who engage in reading books can cultivate greater imagination and linguistic abilities than those who prefer television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

An increasing number of people are buying items which they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online.