Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic,social and commercial perspectives. What are the courses of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressure.

It is commonly said that
more
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in more
show examples
countries
parents
are giving more attention to minors around the world.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
they are coming across to more issues.
Such
as, some
children
are being pressurize
under
Change preposition
into
show examples
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
,general and promotion.
This
essay intends to analyze the causes of these issues and suggest some measures to
altuiate
Correct your spelling
alleviate
the problems. There are many educational compression on infants by their
parents
or dears. Today's minor is extremely weak
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
competing with another country's junior in terms of knowledge.
To
Change preposition
For
show examples
this
reason, their
parents
want to
more
Add a missing verb
do more
show examples
things
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
them. That's why, they sent their kids to the best schools and private coaching centres in town, where the school suitcase is frequently heavier
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
minor
Correct article usage
the minor
show examples
himself. They have extra special preparation for their study after school hours. They don't have enough time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
set off their secret facilities. There
many
Add a missing verb
are many
show examples
community and advertisement weights. Youngsters of today's period are in a large quandary. They would like modern society,
while
their
parents
hope
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to commit to the old conventions.
Such
resistance
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
children
. They come across more
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress
show examples
among their peers, which can be well if their
equallies
Correct your spelling
equally
, and worse if their
coequalies
Correct your spelling
coequality
are not penalized. Some
children
have the most essential technologies.
Such
as, they catch sight of the latest models of
iphones
Correct your spelling
phones
iPhones
on their peers and desire to purchase them. When they don't afford to get them,they get stressed. Resolutions to these drawbacks are not easy.
Parents
are seemly which is the results they expect from their
children
. For
this
, they should give enough time to their toddlers. They should organize a lot of contests
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to bring out their talents and skills in the school and when
children
win or lose, they must admit defeat or victory. To summarize, juniors are under tremendous pressure these days.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
steps should be taken on a battle foundation to keep safe their ingenue youth.
Otherwise
,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
thrusts will suppress
Correct article usage
the corpolar
show examples
corpolar
Correct your spelling
corollary
and mental development of juniors.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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