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Writing Samples
Band 7

There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce. Among them, money is the most important factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#factors #people #workforce #money #factor
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It is sometimes argued that gaining a substantial income is the most motivated reason why
employees
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 follow their
work
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. In my opinion, I totally disagree with
this
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 viewpoint because there are many significant elements for people to
work
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such
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 as working
environment
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 and recognition. First and foremost, the working
environment
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 makes people feel comfortable to start and affects directly their working processes. For many
employees
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, working space and surrounding elements like colleagues, leaders and working positions are major reasons why people choose to
work
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 in a company. To be more specific,
for example
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, if an employee works in a toxic
environment
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whereas
Correct word choice
where
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 everyone is self-centred or lazy, he can not concentrate on his
work
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 and may overload by many tasks, which leads to the reduction of his KPIs.
Moreover
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,
employees
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 may retire immediately
due to
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 unsuitable working places and look for new opportunities to attach in the long term.
Secondly
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, recognition can help individuals be proud of themselves and keep working to motivate them to reach higher positions in their career paths. Not all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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employees
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 can finish their tasks before deadlines,
that is
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 the main reason why many companies introduce certification and provide money and material gifts for hard-working workers during each period.
For instance
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, many companies give bonus month salaries to
employees
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 who passed their tasks in that working year.
Thus
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, these incomes can help receivers raise their monthly expenses and have some positive thinking about their welfare and working
environment
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.
In addition
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, each certificate can be crucial evidence of their dedication to
climb
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climbing
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 to a higher position in the future. In conclusion,
while
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 money is a necessary factor in why
employees
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 stay to
work
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, I concur that other reasons
such
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 as working
environment
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 and recognition are more vital for workers to maintain their jobs.
Submitted by thanhvinhdoi338 on

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