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Band 7

There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce. Among them, money is the most important factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#factors #people #workforce #money #factor
It is sometimes argued that gaining a substantial income is the most motivated reason why
employees
 follow their
work
. In my opinion, I totally disagree with
this
 viewpoint because there are many significant elements for people to
work
such
 as working
environment
 and recognition. First and foremost, the working
environment
 makes people feel comfortable to start and affects directly their working processes. For many
employees
, working space and surrounding elements like colleagues, leaders and working positions are major reasons why people choose to
work
 in a company. To be more specific,
for example
, if an employee works in a toxic
environment
whereas
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 everyone is self-centred or lazy, he can not concentrate on his
work
 and may overload by many tasks, which leads to the reduction of his KPIs.
Moreover
,
employees
 may retire immediately
due to
 unsuitable working places and look for new opportunities to attach in the long term.
Secondly
, recognition can help individuals be proud of themselves and keep working to motivate them to reach higher positions in their career paths. Not all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees
 can finish their tasks before deadlines,
that is
 the main reason why many companies introduce certification and provide money and material gifts for hard-working workers during each period.
For instance
, many companies give bonus month salaries to
employees
 who passed their tasks in that working year.
Thus
, these incomes can help receivers raise their monthly expenses and have some positive thinking about their welfare and working
environment
.
In addition
, each certificate can be crucial evidence of their dedication to
climb
Change the verb form
climbing
show examples
 to a higher position in the future. In conclusion,
while
 money is a necessary factor in why
employees
 stay to
work
, I concur that other reasons
such
 as working
environment
 and recognition are more vital for workers to maintain their jobs.
Submitted by thanhvinhdoi338 on

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