IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In yhe modern world people no longer need to use food or products from animals such as medicine and clothing. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#yhe #world #people #food #products #animals #medicine
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Technology advancement has influenced the production of a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
 goods over the years. Some people believe that
this
Linking Words
 may lead to a time when there will be no usefulness of animals or foods and their products. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 cannot happen as some products from both plants and animals cannot be replicated using any means. On the one hand, there have been several technologies that may be the same as the organic form. A typical example is a recently manufactured milk by a company in Ghana that claimed to have used artificial means to produce a brand of milk which is healthy for people who are lactose intolerant.
Although
Linking Words
 the taste might not be the same compared to the animal source, people believe it is good so far as it is safe for consumption.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some elements for producing certain items are only available in their natural base. Foods
such
Linking Words
 as yam and lettuce
lettuce
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
cannot be produced in any way other than
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 natural means.
Similarly
Linking Words
, some medicines' composition may be available on animals only.
For instance
Linking Words
, many vaccines
such
Linking Words
 as 'polio
o'
Change preposition
apply
show examples
are only developed by isolating the bacteria from the blood of an infected person, deactivating it and using it for its purpose. Technology has by no means been able to produce the bacteria.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, even though clothing companies are able to manufacture leather-like input, they are not as quality as that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using the skin of cows and other mammals.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that the original materials
such
Linking Words
 as wool, leather and feathers may be costly or impossible to produce artificially. In summary, even though there have been several ways of producing different items artificially, I strongly believe that individuals will constantly use food and animal products
such
Linking Words
 as drugs and materials for clothes as they are highly impossible to develop by any other means.
Submitted by mabelappiahkubi0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: