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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #crime #poverty #person’s #nature
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In the modern world, some social issues more and more serious
lead
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leading
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 to
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crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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 rate is becoming higher and higher,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
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 suppose that
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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 person’s
nature
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 is a cause of
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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 high rate. In the essay below, I am going to discuss both problems and give my views. There is a belief that social issues and poverty are one of
reasons
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the reasons
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 behind
a
Correct article usage
apply
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crime
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.
Firstly
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, some problems in society could lead to an increasing number of crimes.
For instance
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, in the education system, we cannot deny that there are dropout rates getting higher and higher.
As a result
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, there are more and more uneducated
people
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 who are mostly not accepted to work for a long time,
thus
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 they will often do some dishonest
act
Fix the agreement mistake
acts
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 to make a living for themselves
such
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 as robbery, smuggling and kidnapping blackmail.
Moreover
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, unemployment pushes an array of
people
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 to work illegally to earn
their
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a
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 living.
As a consequence
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, the number of offenders has climbed in recent years.
Secondly
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, the
people
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 who are living in penury
also
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 easily commit an
offense
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offence
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. Lack of money has made
people
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 do illegal things to make their living conditions better.
Nevertheless
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, it seems to me that a bad person’s
nature
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 is the major cause that leads to offenders. As far as I
know
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,know
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 human personality and consciousness are shaped
from
Change preposition
by
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 a person's
nature
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.
Therefore
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, I believe that bad innate character is the primary reason for
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crime
Add an article
the crime
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.
Furthermore
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, bad characteristics including laziness, jealousy and selfishness could
also
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 build up
breed
Correct word choice
and breed
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 future offenders. It cannot be denied that a number of youngsters,
instead
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 of working to earn a living, choose to steal from other
people
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. It seems that
people
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 who are born with an inborn negative
nature
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 are likely to be accused of crimes.
To sum up
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, many
people
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 argued that a person’s
nature
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 is a reason for
crime
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,
while
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 others believe that some problems in society and penury are composed of
crime
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 rates. In my point of view, I suppose that a bad innate character is an initial reason to commit a
crime
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by thuthu.anhbui on

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