Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and the treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor .Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

It is becoming
increase
Replace the word
increasingly
show examples
common that much more
people
who have health problems start to try alternative medicine and treatment rather than see the doctor
although
there are some benefits of
people
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
these approaches to solve their health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
, I would argue that there are far more drawbacks On the one hand , it’s true that some alternative medicines and treatments help
people
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
healthy and reduce the stresses of doctors.These methods generally come from the experience of the ancients. Namely, some
people
would drink a lot of different types
soups
Change preposition
of soups
show examples
which contain different foods that
people
have always thought that it contains a lot of nutrients. When they become healthy, there will be
lower
Add an article
a lower
the lower
show examples
probability
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
them being sick ,
therefore
,the pressure on the medical system will be reduced.
On the other hand
,if
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
relies too much on these things that have not been researched by scientists to confirm that they really have
a good effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good effect
good effects
show examples
this
may cause more harm to their bodies. There was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
news about some doctors‘ views on these treatments. They proposed that some of ‘health products’ is the lies lie of some bad companies that just want to sell their products that
useless
Add a missing verb
are useless
show examples
or even have a negative impact on bodies. At the same time, some communities believe that these things can treat their diseases without going to the hospital. It is their responsibility that they lose the best time to treat their diseases. In conclusion,
although
some alternative drugs and treatments are beneficial,
people
should not rely on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
and go to the hospital to buy safe drugs when they are sick.
Submitted by 457934770 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: